Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.
Richmond, Virginia
Female coworker: Neil, you said you'd eat me last week.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: T Con
Coworker: I can't go to Easter service anymore. I've discovered I'm allergic to the incest. I mean “incense.”
Dallas, Texas
VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.
8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sam Racadabra
Female worker: That's my cue to saddle up! (mimes mounting a horse)
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern in the next Cube
Employee, looking at coworker's photos: I don't think this is appropriate for the workplace. (pause) Wait! Go back, go back…I think I have that same cap gun!
Canberra
Australia
Female suit #1: And after that, I told him that he can do whatever he wants, but in that case we are never kissing again.
Female suit #2: Some lines just shouldn't be crossed.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Remex
Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Cubicle dweller: Oh. So your nipples are squeaky too?
Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida