Cube dweller: Where are my pretzels? I just feel like putting stuff in my mouth.
Scotts Valley, California
Overheard by: Mari
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
You're Going to Love Your First Confession
Coworker to another: Let him touch and feel it, because that is really what is going to get him excited.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: J-Man 88
Want to Know What’s in the ‘Everything Bagel’?
Male associate: Hey Sean, it’s not working [holds a squeeze bottle of flesh colored sauce in front of himself.] I can’t get it to come!
Sean, slowly: Put the bottle down.
Female associate: You freak. There’s customers here!
Center Ridge Road
Rocky River, Ohio
Overheard by: silent one
If Ever There Were a Need for a Longer Pause…
Cube dweller: Hey Liz*, wanna hear something crazy?
Liz*: Sure.
Cube dweller: That stock I bought is up 900% today.
Liz*: Which stock?
Cube dweller: That gay stock I bought! 900%!
Liz*: Gay stock…?
Cube dweller: Yeah–that gay tv network stock. I knew it! Gay tv, yes!
Liz*: Well, good for you…
Cube dweller: Man, my butt is so sore today…
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Your what is sore?!
For Instance, You No Longer Need to Purchase Gel.
Outgoing office assistant helping new one fill out HR paperwork: Wow! You look so different in your driver's license picture.
New assistant: Yeah, I was so much skinnier and my hair was so much better.
Outgoing office assistant: How is your hair different now?
New assistant: Well, you know when you're having a bunch of sex, your hair changes?
Nashville, Tennessee
Biblicly.
Female intern: Another intern?
Male manager: Yup. You're not so new anymore.
Female intern: What's his name?
Male manager: Dick.
Female intern: Really? I know a Dick.
Male manager: Do you?
Female intern: Yeah, I know like three Dicks!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: this wun guy
What’s the Upside Here?
Chick on cell, going to see her dad at work: Not shaving my legs is my chastity belt — now I can get drunk and not be a slut.
Main Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by:
That Is to Say, We've Coded Your Crack.
Tech support: Good morning, this is Steve* from technical support. I think that I have got to the problem of your bottom.
Slough
England
11AM Tech Services
Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.
1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC
That's Kind Of How It Works, Sir.
Boss, abruptly: Should I give this porn star money?
Los Angeles, California