Stu­pid Fire­wall

Guy a few cu­bi­cles down: No mom, I’m not look­ing at porn.

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

When Con­struc­tion Reach­es the Point Of Roof­jac­u­la­to­ry In­evitabil­i­ty

Con­struc­tion guy #1, about roof: Why do they need to jack it an­oth­er inch?
Con­struc­tion guy #2: To spread the load.

Hawthorne, New York

An­oth­er Tex­an Re­veals That He’s Not a Steer

Co-work­er, com­plain­ing about his chapped lips: These chapped lips re­al­ly suck big dick.

The Ar­bore­tum
Austin, Texas

Over­heard by: El Gato

I’m Gonna Write Down a URL for You

CSR, look­ing at small child: I want a ba­by, but I want it to stay small like that.
Se­ri­ous man­ag­er: Well, you should have sex with a dwarf.

Wash­ing­ton, DC

On Com­mand

Male em­ploy­ee: I heard you two talk­ing about my project so I came.
Fe­male boss: That’s good, I like the way you come.

Both­ell, Wash­ing­ton

So I Put Lit­tle Birken­stocks on Them in the Hope Of Spark­ing Some Pas­sion

Of­fice girl on phone: I fi­nal­ly found out why my ham­sters aren’t fuck­ing! I have three girls!

Den­ham Springs, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Erin

Has She Tried Us­ing Her Teeth?

Woman on phone with client: Yes, this is about the files you sent. My col­league has been try­ing since morn­ing but could not open your zip!

New York City, New York

…But Don’t Wor­ry– It’s Not Mine.

Hot la­dy star­ing at cowork­er’s wet pants: Did you just piss on your pants?
Male cowork­er: No, that’s se­men.

Mani­la
Philip­pines

Over­heard by: mi­to

Well, It’s Ac­tu­al­ly On­ly a Prob­lem for the Ba­by

Re­pair tech: My cus­tomer just called in and told me that his trans-vagi­nal probe is vi­brat­ing.
Cube dweller: And that’s a prob­lem be­cause…?

Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

Why I Have No Pic­tures on My Desk

Lack­ey: So that’s your wife, huh?
Suit: Yep.
Lack­ey: She’s a grade-school teacher?
Suit: Yes.
Lack­ey: She looks like that one that had sex with her thir­teen-year-old stu­dent.

275 West Wis­con­sin Av­enue
Mil­wau­kee, Wis­con­sin