Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

Is Any­thing Sad­der Than an Un­eat­en Muf­fin? Dis­cuss.

Fe­male em­ploy­ee #1: I saw your muf­fin and I was tempt­ed to eat it.
Fe­male em­ploy­ee #2: I thought some­body al­ready ate my muf­fin.
Fe­male em­ploy­ee #1: No, it’s still there… See? Un­eat­en.
Fe­male em­ploy­ee #3, laugh­ing: Yeah, I think she’d know if some­body ate her muf­fin.

Marl­bor­ough, Mass­a­chu­setts

Re­mem­ber? The AS­P­CA Won’t Let Us For­get!

Daugh­ter-in-law coo­ing over an­oth­er shop­per’s ba­by: Awww — look at that face!
Moth­er-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daugh­ter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Moth­er-in-law: Well, that’s be­tween the two of you, I think.
Daugh­ter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it my­self. Re­mem­ber how I want­ed a kit­ten?

Ox­ford Val­ley Mall
Lang­horne, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Fel­low shop­per

Af­ter Which We Of­ten Have In­ter­course

Obliv­i­ous fe­male of­fice work­er: I re­al­ly like get­ting ad­just­ed. Some peo­ple say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good re­lease of ten­sion.
Male of­fice work­er: “Ad­just­ed.” Is that what they call it now?
Obliv­i­ous fe­male of­fice work­er: Yep, it has many names. I see my chi­ro­prac­tor for an ad­just­ment two or three times a week.

Amar­il­lo, Texas

Over­heard by: Je­re­my

For In­stance, You No Longer Need to Pur­chase Gel.

Out­go­ing of­fice as­sis­tant help­ing new one fill out HR pa­per­work: Wow! You look so dif­fer­ent in your dri­ver’s li­cense pic­ture.
New as­sis­tant: Yeah, I was so much skin­nier and my hair was so much bet­ter.
Out­go­ing of­fice as­sis­tant: How is your hair dif­fer­ent now?
New as­sis­tant: Well, you know when you’re hav­ing a bunch of sex, your hair changes?

Nashville, Ten­nessee