Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

10AM Or­der an iPod

Woman: So you on­ly lis­ten to the Cardi­gans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just af­ter a hot show­er, fresh and tingly all over.

1111 Fan­nin Street
Hous­ton, Texas

Take What, Ex­act­ly? No, Don’t Tell Me.

Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were look­ing for an apart­ment on my street.
Fe­male cowork­er: Oh, re­al­ly?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wan­na steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my bal­cony! (demon­strates by thrust­ing in the air) Take that, Sci­en­tol­ogy!

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Gig­gling

My No­to­ri­ety’s Al­ready Got­ten Chlamy­dia Four Times

Gos­sip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left dur­ing lunch to­geth­er. What’s goin’ on there?
Nate: Noth­in’.
Gos­sip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eat­ing lunch with some­one cor­re­late to hav­ing pen­e­trat­ed them? I swear to god, my rep­u­ta­tion gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: me