Gentleman in office: Hand jobs are nothing new. They’ve been around for centuries. You could just sit around and wonder how many hand jobs Anne Boleyn performed.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: tacomeat
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
Twelve Full Months of Scary Doll Eyes
Worker: Hello! Are you looking for anything in particular?
Eight-year-old boy: Barbie!
Calendar kiosk, Victoria Mall
Victoria, Texas
Oh Ho Ho, We've All Been There!
Young office lady to another: What's that French term for you felt like you've been here before? (pause) Menage a troi?
Calgary
Canadia
The Personal Is Political
Woman #1: Your boss asked you to be sure to attend the company party at a strip club!?
Woman #2: Yeah, what’s so bad about that?
Woman #1: Well, you’re going to be surrounded by naked, gyrating ladies, and that’s sexist and outrageous!
Woman #2: Really? I was looking forward to seeing my sister.
630 East Lake
Chicago, Illinois
The Guy at the Burrito Counter Winked at Me, and I Lost All Control
Frustrated supervisor to quitting employee: And I'll need your password for your computer. Why don't you just give me that now?
Employee, mumbling: It's “Latinomneeee.”
Supervisor: Did you say “Latino E”? I couldn't understand you.
Employee: No, it's “Latino heat.”
(awkward silence)
Employee: I guess I was feeling a little frisky that day.
Bushwick
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ap
…I Could Get Nailed for the First Time in a While
Secretary (singing to herself to the tune of “If I only had a brain”): If I only had a hammer…if I only had a hammer…
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Relax, I’m Just Horngry
Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
How to Get a Room Full Of People Focused on the Same Goal
Project manager: Can you look over a doc for me?
Engineer #1: Not right now. I'm reading about bestiality.
Engineer #2: What? Dude… Share the link!
Engineers #3 and #4: Yeah!
Alpharetta, Georgia
We're Still Living Under the Same Roofie
Cubicle dweller on phone: Nah, she's not been banging me very much. I think I'm banging her more than she's banging me.
Conway, Arkansas
I Totally Would've Said You Were Five-and-a-Half, at Best
Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.
Modesto, California