Colleague, chatting up receptionist on Monday morning: Me and the water polo boys can be a pretty rough crowd when we want to be.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Nathan
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
Does It Matter That They're Sexual Harassment Complaint Files?
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Actually, I Was Layering You in Clothes Like a Bag Lady
Worker: I felt like you were undressing me with your eyes and re-dressing me in office casual!
Carrol Avenue
Takoma Park, Maryland
It Has Check Boxes and Fill-in Lines?
Employee on the phone: No, it's just… Well, it's a hermathodite (pause) No! The form, not me.
Ontario
Canadia
Could Be a Wooden Plank in a Stripper Costume
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Broadway & 42nd
New York City, New York
Avocados. (What Were You Thinking, Pervs?)
Female sales rep #1: So I don't like that kind too much.
Female sales rep #2: You like yours to be a little harder, like more firm?
Female sales rep #1: Yeah, but not too hard, I need to be able to pull the skin back and get to the good part.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Miley Cyrus Is Demanding a Recount
Peon: Did you get your “whore of the year” trophy yet?
Boss: No, it hasn't arrived yet.
Meriden, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brandon
No, That’s Question #15
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
And Maybe You Could Spruce It Up a Bit?
Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!
Van Nuys, California
Because I Have Been Getting a Little Unkempt Back There
Engineer to another: What'd you just say? My ass is grass? And you're the lawnmower?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jt