Coworker: I can't go to Easter service anymore. I've discovered I'm allergic to the incest. I mean “incense.”
Dallas, Texas
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
2PM Double Team Meeting
VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.
8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sam Racadabra
The Board Voted “Neigh” on This Proposal
Female worker: That's my cue to saddle up! (mimes mounting a horse)
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern in the next Cube
And That Stripper!
Employee, looking at coworker's photos: I don't think this is appropriate for the workplace. (pause) Wait! Go back, go back…I think I have that same cap gun!
Canberra
Australia
Career Tip: No Grillz in the Office, Dear Reader
Female suit #1: And after that, I told him that he can do whatever he wants, but in that case we are never kissing again.
Female suit #2: Some lines just shouldn't be crossed.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Remex
“Egg”– Yeah, Right
Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Let’s Rub Ours Together and See If We Can Play “Mary Had a Little Lamb”
Cubicle dweller: Oh. So your nipples are squeaky too?
Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
…Let Us Never Speak Of This Conversation Again.
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Your Date's Slow Leak Shocked and Saddened Us All
Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Last day at work
The Richard Simmons Video That Never Made It to Shelves
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia