Archive for the ‘Service’ Category

The Bitch Promises, but Never Delivers

Federal employee to coworker in ladies’ room: Darlene, how long is a dog pregnant?

L’Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Just a contractor

4PM OSHA Regulations

Male bather: Oww! That dog just scratched my nipple!
Female groomer: Now you know why we wear boulder-holders.

92 – 12 Liberty Avenue
Ozone Park, New York

Oh Wait, It’s Just Models Sharing a New York Apartment

Weird suit: Hey! There’s a box of dead people back here!

Bourse Building
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

In Totally Unrelated News, I’d Like to Request Maid Service

85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?

Hotel
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Rather Disgusted

‘Yiddish’ Is Jew-Speak for ‘Fuck You, Jesus Boy’

WASP: I know what that says! It’s written in Jewish!
Bagel wench: Yiddish?
WASP: Are you Jewish?

Noah’s Bagels, Manhattan Beach Boulevard
Manhattan Beach, California

Overheard by: just wants to make bagels in peace

1PM Custom Solutions

Manager: Do you need these pants hemmed?
Customer: Yes
Manager: Do you have one leg that is shorter than the other, sir?
Customer: Yeah, the middle one.

3255 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia

12PM Lunch

Food service worker: What type of soda would you like today?
Female customer: Large.
Food service worker: Yes, mam’m. But what type or flavor did you want?
Female customer: I said large.
Food service worker: Yes, ma’am. Diet Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Female customer: Are you fucking stupid or something? Large. A large soda. How many times do I have to tell you?

San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, California