Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category

2PM Back from Site Visit

Sales guy: How’d the trip go?
IT guy: Went pretty well. Almost had to send your branch manager home though.
Sales guy: Ha, why?
IT guy: After we loaded up all the inventory in an Excel spreadsheet, he kept sorting it wrong. He’d sort just one column. It would scramble the whole thing up and we’d have to delete it and start all over. He did that three times before I banned him from Excel.
Sales guy: You banned him?
IT guy: I banned him.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

1PM Lunch

Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.

712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona

And I Wouldn’t Mind Getting You Between the Worksheets

Assistant: Hey, could you help me with a price on a part?
Sales guy: Yeah, just give me a minute to finish what I’m doing… Hey, I’ll help you with your pricing thing if you come over here and help me with my spreadsheet.
Assistant: Deal. [Walks to next cubicle] My, you have a lot of toolbars…
Sales guy: I’m special.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Unique (adj.): Unlike Anyone or Anything Else

Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY