Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: (to the)
Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: (to the)
Salesman: It’s this whole ‘No Child Left Behind, let’s get all the kids to graduate college’ bullshit. If everybody goes to college, who’s gonna do the work? Huh? Who’s gonna dig the ditches? Who’s gonna pick up the trash? We don’t need that. We need kids to drop out of school and do the work.
Birch Street
Brea, California
Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It’s in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It’s international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I’ll just do it myself.
Louisville, Kentucky
Female sales rep #1, sneezing loudly: What is going on in here? I got it all in my nose.
Female sales rep #2, coughs loudly: Well, I got it all in my throat.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Sales guy: Some people have 12 years’ experience. Some have 1 year’s experience 12 times.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: carissa lusk
Salesman: Well, I worked my way up from a mechanic to a salesman, but I’m still treated like the low man on the scrotum pole.
625 Spring Street
Reading, Pennsylvania
Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.
3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Rick
Sales rep on phone to customer: I thought about you in the shower this morning. I know that probably sounds weird but I think about my customers all the time.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Wonder if he made the sale…
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
Sales: [Diana] is freaking out. What should I tell her?
Consultant: Just tell her to chill.
Sales: Well, how long should I tell her to chill?
Consultant: Until the next episode.
2135 Rimrock Road
Madison, Wisconsin
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist