Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don’t have to eat alone, I’ll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you’re a whore. I don’t know what else to tell you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don’t do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It’s the second most poisonous element. It’s used in all kinds of rat poisons.
Marion, Iowa
Sales rep: No, we cannot move the piano on the ship… The piano cannot be moved… No, we cannot move it to another room… The piano cannot be moved… What do you not understand? We cannot move the piano!
Chelsea Piers, Pier 6
New York
Salesgirl: How was your first trip to New York? Have a good time?
Salesman: Oh my god, it was awesome! All the restaurants we went to were amazing! So expensive, though.
Salesgirl: Yeah, Manhattan’s pretty pricey.
Salesman: Yeah. (pause). I think the restaurants are expensive because they have to import all their supplies onto the island.
Studio City, California
Overheard by: goofopet
Sales #1: Have you called any previous customers yet?
Sales #2: I’ve called customers till I’m blue in the ass.
973 Opelika Road
Auburn, Alabama
Overheard by: Rob Byrd
Sales rep on cell: I hope it’s not your spleen! Okay, gotta go, Chinese food is here.
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Well they DO make great orange chicken…
Salesman, displaying new kind of cabinet: So, as you can see, it’s very sturdy and designed to last.
Female CEO: I can see that… I like a good long screw
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: So do I
Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: (to the)
Salesman: It’s this whole ‘No Child Left Behind, let’s get all the kids to graduate college’ bullshit. If everybody goes to college, who’s gonna do the work? Huh? Who’s gonna dig the ditches? Who’s gonna pick up the trash? We don’t need that. We need kids to drop out of school and do the work.
Birch Street
Brea, California
Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It’s in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It’s international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I’ll just do it myself.
Louisville, Kentucky
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
