Client: I measured it, it was 4 centimetres!
Salesman: What’s that in millimetres?
Client: Did you even go to school?
297 Munster Road
Fulham, London
UK
Overheard by: Marshall
Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category
Is This a New Trend We're Missing?
Sales rep: I have been waiting for this woman to show up for so long that my clients are looking at me like I am a monkey humping a football.
Clearwater, Florida
On the Plus Side, I Have a Place to Put My Bowl Of Cereal in the Mornings
Sales girl: We have a sale on sports bras!
Largely endowed woman: I can't wear sports bras. They make me look like I have a uniboob.
Texas
Overheard by: silentinthecorner
…Mr. Gigantor
Salesmen on phone with client: I did steroids in college, so I understand where you're coming from.
Plymouth, Massachusetts
…As My “I Might As Well Be Pooping” Bumper Sticker Clearly States.
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
The Disneyland Brochure Merely Says, “The Happiest Place on Earth”
Travel agent: The fact that there are a lot of prostitutes there is not my fault.
Boston, Massachusetts
2PM Back from Site Visit
Sales guy: How’d the trip go?
IT guy: Went pretty well. Almost had to send your branch manager home though.
Sales guy: Ha, why?
IT guy: After we loaded up all the inventory in an Excel spreadsheet, he kept sorting it wrong. He’d sort just one column. It would scramble the whole thing up and we’d have to delete it and start all over. He did that three times before I banned him from Excel.
Sales guy: You banned him?
IT guy: I banned him.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
1PM Lunch
Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.
712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona
And I Wouldn’t Mind Getting You Between the Worksheets
Assistant: Hey, could you help me with a price on a part?
Sales guy: Yeah, just give me a minute to finish what I’m doing… Hey, I’ll help you with your pricing thing if you come over here and help me with my spreadsheet.
Assistant: Deal. [Walks to next cubicle] My, you have a lot of toolbars…
Sales guy: I’m special.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
The Episode Of Roseanne No One Wanted to See
CSR: Don't you and your husband ever take a shower together?
Supervisor: Are you kidding? After all these years? We don't even fit! Well, we fit, but our feet wouldn't get wet!
Indianapolis, Indiana