Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category

Why Sen­si­tiv­i­ty Train­ing Ex­ists

Boss: The in­cen­tive this month is: the per­son with the most ac­counts will get a steak din­ner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girl­friend or what­ev­er, you don’t have to eat alone, I’ll pay for them too.
Fe­male sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you’re a whore. I don’t know what else to tell you.

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

With­out Con­spir­a­cy The­o­ries, TV Would Be Iowa’s On­ly En­ter­tain­ment

Cheeky sales guy: What about adding flu­o­ride to wa­ter..?
Sales la­dy: Don’t do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales la­dy: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the con­cen­tra­tion camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mel­lowed them out.
Cu­bi­cle neigh­bor: And their teeth looked awe­some?
Sales guy #2: No, it has noth­ing to do with teeth! It’s the sec­ond most poi­so­nous el­e­ment. It’s used in all kinds of rat poi­sons.

Mar­i­on, Iowa

Chi­nese Restau­rants in Par­tic­u­lar

Sales­girl: How was your first trip to New York? Have a good time?
Sales­man: Oh my god, it was awe­some! All the restau­rants we went to were amaz­ing! So ex­pen­sive, though.
Sales­girl: Yeah, Man­hat­tan’s pret­ty pricey.
Sales­man: Yeah. (pause). I think the restau­rants are ex­pen­sive be­cause they have to im­port all their sup­plies on­to the is­land.

Stu­dio City, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: goofopet

Clin­ton Was a Rhodes Schol­ar, and He Still Picks up Trash on Fri­day Nights

Sales­man: It’s this whole ‘No Child Left Be­hind, let’s get all the kids to grad­u­ate col­lege’ bull­shit. If every­body goes to col­lege, who’s gonna do the work? Huh? Who’s gonna dig the ditch­es? Who’s gonna pick up the trash? We don’t need that. We need kids to drop out of school and do the work.

Birch Street
Brea, Cal­i­for­nia

Yes! An­oth­er Big Win for Strate­gic In­com­pe­tence!

Sales man­ag­er: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill every­thing out be­fore­hand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: It’s in the Mid­dle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales man­ag­er: No, the Mid­dle East! It’s in­ter­na­tion­al.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not in­ter­na­tion­al.
Sales man­ag­er: I’ll just do it my­self.

Louisville, Ken­tucky