Sales guy: Some people have 12 years’ experience. Some have 1 year’s experience 12 times.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: carissa lusk
Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category
3PM Cigarette Break
Salesman: Well, I worked my way up from a mechanic to a salesman, but I’m still treated like the low man on the scrotum pole.
625 Spring Street
Reading, Pennsylvania
4PM Finalize Contracts with New Account
Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.
3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Rick
And When I Do…
Sales rep on phone to customer: I thought about you in the shower this morning. I know that probably sounds weird but I think about my customers all the time.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Wonder if he made the sale…
Goodness, Mr. Lay, Your Firm’s Financial Report Certainly Is Heavy!
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
5PM Hell, Take All Weekend
Sales: [Diana] is freaking out. What should I tell her?
Consultant: Just tell her to chill.
Sales: Well, how long should I tell her to chill?
Consultant: Until the next episode.
2135 Rimrock Road
Madison, Wisconsin
The Baby Boom Seems to Be Ending With a Whimper
Sales manager: Oh, no… I’m not laughing at orphans, I’m laughing at old demented people.
Eagle Street, Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Clerk Peon
What Happens When You Think About Things that Don’t Bear Thinking About
IT guy: Oh, good I’m back to the top of your favorite people list.
Sales assistant: What? William* the hot A/C guy got bumped down?
IT guy: William’s gone; he’s off the list.
Sales guy: Isn’t William a gerbil?
Sales assistant: That’s my gerbil! We’re talking about the A/C guy now.
Sales guy: Ask Peter* about gerbil; he likes ’em.
IT guy: Ed breeds the gerbils.
Sales guy: I breed them just for you. Hairless, clawless gerbils.
Peter: Edsgerbils.com!
Sales guy: You don’t want one with claws..
Peter: Go to Edsgerbils.com to get your hairless gerbils.
Sales guy: Don’t forget clawless… you don’t want one with claws.
Office Manager: Stop with the gerbils.
Sales guy, to himself: No… don’t want one with claws.…
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Ad: From the Henhouse to the Crackhouse to Your House!
Sales director on phone: Geeze, people are after our chicken like crack. Our chicken is crack!
Ronks, Pennsylvania
3PM Assigning Personnel
Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re doing, no matter that the customer asks.
Account manager: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales director: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.
28100 Cabot Drive
Novi, Michigan
