Cashier: Hi! How are you doing?
Customer, sighing: I’m 83 years old, my kids don’t visit me and when they do their kids annoy the fuck out of me, I haven’t had sex in 20 years, and you’re out of my favorite ice cream.
Cashier: Look, lady, I didn’t really care — next time just freaking smile and say, ‘I’m fine, how are you?’ Now… Have a good day.
Customer: Thank you. See you tomorrow.
Piggly Wiggly
Farmville, North Carolina
Overheard by: MB
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I’m going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Sales guy #1: You know, this hand sanitizer stuff. Can you like.. wash with it?
Uncertain silence.
Sales guy #1: Like, wash your whole body?
Sales guy #2: Well, you’re going to need a bigger bottle.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Designer to sales rep, about ad consultation: Do you want to do it with me right now?
Sales rep: You can do me right now? I’ll just go downstairs and get my stuff.
Designer: The room is free, so we’ll have no problem getting it in.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: m00nwater
Sales rep: I have been waiting for this woman to show up for so long that my clients are looking at me like I am a monkey humping a football.
Clearwater, Florida
Manager: How we doin’?
Sales rep: Good!
Manager: Good.
Sales rep: Sales are good.
Manager: Good!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused Techie
Salesperson over intercom: Justin, will you please get out of the happiness place?
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: dolly
85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?
Hotel
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: Rather Disgusted
Sales rep, about boss: There’s a woman who knows her sausages!
Madison, Wisconsin
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist