Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.
Chantilly, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category
A Man’s Gotta Eat
Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That’s unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.
Levittown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Flynn
Then What Are Those in That Bowl on Your Desk?
Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don’t live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Chris Lumo
1PM Lunch
Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.
712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Appreciating Irony Is Bad for a Sales Career
Obnoxious sales guy: But your product is my back end!
Times Square
New York City, New York
I Think Bill O’Reilly’s Sticking to TV This Election
Sales guy #1: I’m worried about the primaries. I mean, if Obama runs, I would vote for him over the Republicans.
Sales guy #2: Sure.
Sales guy #1: If Hillary runs, I would vote for Satan over her.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Raise Your Hand If You’re This Guy in Your Office
Salesguy #1: We have more sweaters on the rack.
Salesguy #2: Hahaha! “Rack”!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Maggie
Why Sensitivity Training Exists
Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don’t have to eat alone, I’ll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you’re a whore. I don’t know what else to tell you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Without Conspiracy Theories, TV Would Be Iowa’s Only Entertainment
Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don’t do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It’s the second most poisonous element. It’s used in all kinds of rat poisons.
Marion, Iowa
It’s Painted on the Wall
Sales rep: No, we cannot move the piano on the ship… The piano cannot be moved… No, we cannot move it to another room… The piano cannot be moved… What do you not understand? We cannot move the piano!
Chelsea Piers, Pier 6
New York
