CSR to customer, on phone: Forgive me, there’s going to be a lot of Johnsons.
Golden, Colorado
Overheard by: Maho
Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category
Or Sticking It Up Your Nose
Sales guy: Oh, crap! I left the cap off my Sharpie last night! [Tries it on paper] Oh, no! What can I do?!
Cube rat #1: Well, you could try running a little water over the tip. Or, um, you could just throw it away and get a new one.
Sales guy: Put some water on it? Would that work?
Cube rat #2: Is it a Sharpie or a marker?
Cube rat #3: If putting water on it doesn’t work, try licking it.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
10AM Client Meeting
Visiting salesgirl: Hi, I’m here to see Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: Do you mean Carrie Schwartz?
Visiting salesgirl: No, I’m pretty sure her name was Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: We don’t have a Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw is from Sex and the City.
245 5th Avenue
New York, New York
I Think I Know What We’ll Be Serving at Your Farewell Party
Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.
1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine
The Aisles Only Go Up to 13.
Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I’m looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.
Victor, New York
Overheard by: Yikes!
Does It Ever Stop?
Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.
Chantilly, Virginia
A Man’s Gotta Eat
Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That’s unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.
Levittown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Flynn
Then What Are Those in That Bowl on Your Desk?
Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don’t live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Chris Lumo
1PM Lunch
Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.
712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Appreciating Irony Is Bad for a Sales Career
Obnoxious sales guy: But your product is my back end!
Times Square
New York City, New York
