Archive for the ‘Sales’ Category

Clin­ton Was a Rhodes Schol­ar, and He Still Picks up Trash on Fri­day Nights

Sales­man: It’s this whole ‘No Child Left Be­hind, let’s get all the kids to grad­u­ate col­lege’ bull­shit. If every­body goes to col­lege, who’s gonna do the work? Huh? Who’s gonna dig the ditch­es? Who’s gonna pick up the trash? We don’t need that. We need kids to drop out of school and do the work.

Birch Street
Brea, Cal­i­for­nia

Yes! An­oth­er Big Win for Strate­gic In­com­pe­tence!

Sales man­ag­er: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill every­thing out be­fore­hand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: It’s in the Mid­dle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales man­ag­er: No, the Mid­dle East! It’s in­ter­na­tion­al.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not in­ter­na­tion­al.
Sales man­ag­er: I’ll just do it my­self.

Louisville, Ken­tucky

4PM Fi­nal­ize Con­tracts with New Ac­count

Ven­dor: Hey, can you do me a huge fa­vor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Ven­dor: I am try­ing to land this ac­count, and the guy won’t sign with me un­less you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not go­ing to sleep with him! Wait a sec­ond, is he cute? Does he have lots of mon­ey?
Ven­dor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.

3663 S. Las Ve­gas Boule­vard
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: Rick

5PM Hell, Take All Week­end

Sales: [Di­ana] is freak­ing out. What should I tell her?
Con­sul­tant: Just tell her to chill.
Sales: Well, how long should I tell her to chill?
Con­sul­tant: Un­til the next episode.

2135 Rim­rock Road
Madi­son, Wis­con­sin