Archive for the ‘Rhode Island’ Category

3PM Smoke Break

Accounts Payable: I wish sometimes I was tippin’ it at my desk.
Accounts Receivable: Tippin’ what?
Accounts Payable: You know, the bottle.
Accounts Payable: Yeah, but you gotta be a good alcoholic, and at least show up for work every day. That’s what I do.

2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island

11AM Invoices Due

Accounts Payable: I told you I shipped that invoice.
Accounts Receivable: It says on the label it was returned for address.
Accounts Payable: I wrote the right address. It says, “Little Rock, Kansasaw”!
Accounts Receivable: Oh, okay. Don’t know why it got returned, then.

2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Oh no, they were serious

He Remembers Shindler’s List As a Children’s Fairy Tale

General manager: Folks, this year is going to be like The Perfect Storm. You know, that movie with Kevin Costner.
Sales rep #1, whispering: Was Kevin Costner even in that movie?
General manager: We can either ride it out or we can push to the crest of the tsunami!
Sales rep #1: Didn’t people die in The Perfect Storm?
Sales rep #2: Yes.

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island

The First-Ever Suggestion That College Leads to Sobriety

Woman: Man, I got so shitfaced last night. Major hangover. I’m not gonna get anything done.
Lackey: Well, good thing you’re a VP. You can get away with that kind of thing.
Woman: I know, right? And I don’t even have a college education!
Lackey: Guess I wasted those four years and workday sobriety for nothing. And all this time I could have been a hungover dropout.
Woman: Live and learn!

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Kate

Otherwise I’d Be Saying This Stuff to Her Face

Rep #1: She wears disgusting eye makeup…like a tarantula.
Rep #2: Gross!
Rep #1: I know. She looks like a tramp. I mean, she can’t keep her legs closed.
Rep #2: Nasty!
Rep #1: She thinks she is so hot. Yeah, right.
Rep #2: Wait, isn’t she like, your best friend?
Rep #1: Of course!

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island