Male machinist: So do you like donkeys and stuff?
Female machinist: What…? What do you mean?
Male machinist: Ya know, like donkeys and horses…
Female machinist: Uh, why?
Male machinist: We’re having a donkey and horse show this weekend. Oh! But not that kind.
Female machinist: Oh, good. You were weirding me out, man.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Female Machinist
Coworker #1: Is Florida’s time zone one or two hours behind us?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure. It’s pretty far south, so probably two.
235 Promenade Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Executive: In ’06 we need to get more blood from the turnip.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
Manager: Well if they don’t fill out the forms right, they don’t get their shit. I have no sympathy for them…and you know what I say? If they want to find sympathy, they can look in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis.”
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Office drone on phone: There’s a woman out there. Oh, that’s not a woman, that’s the governor.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: evelyn
Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead.
Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Scratch
Accounts Payable: I wish sometimes I was tippin’ it at my desk.
Accounts Receivable: Tippin’ what?
Accounts Payable: You know, the bottle.
Accounts Payable: Yeah, but you gotta be a good alcoholic, and at least show up for work every day. That’s what I do.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
Boss: Don’t forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.“
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Employee, to boss : These internet blocks suck. I just got kicked off for trying to google whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite!
Boss : Well, try to remember to look it up when you get home.
Providence, Rhode Island
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
