Should I Start Referring to Yeast Infections As “Infiltration of the Defensive Line”?

Female coworker #1: I’m sure *Mark hates being the only guy on these smoke breaks; especially when we start talking about our vagina issues.
Female coworker #2: That’s how I feel when y’all talk about football. Football is my vagina.

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

I’m Sure You’ll Be a Fine President

Employee #1: You know that part of your brain that stops you from doing stupid shit?
Employee #2: Nope.
Employee #1: Oh.

Galleria
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: consultantinka

She’s Seen All of Edward G. Robinson’s Films

White rich girl leaving mall with friends: I am so much more gangsta than you!

Mall
Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Am I Really in Iowa?

You’re Less Fun Every Time I Talk to You

Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…

Tysons Corner, Virginia

Like, This Shelf of Folded T-Shirts Is Anna Karenina

Smug manager: The store is set up in concepts.
New, confused employee: [nods]Smug manager: We like to think that it tells a story.

Banana Republic
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Karen

12PM Lunch

RVP: Hey, I thought you were out sick today.
Sales manager: Nope, I was just tired.
RVP: [peeved] Nice.
Sales manager: Hey, you brought me here for my brutal honesty.

8833 W. Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California

Jason Learns of Places Even Worse Than Indianapolis

Busboy: I’m joining the national guard next week. You get lots of tuition for only one weekend a month and two weeks a year.
Manager: Yeah, right. Pick me up a key chain from Baghdad, would you?

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Sounds More Like A-hole Than U-Haul

Guy: Why’d you just hang up on ’em?
Girl: I don’t wanna talk to her. She’ll call back.
Guy: Yeah, but you can’t just hang up.
Girl: She wanna make a reservation. It’s a waste of time, mine and hers.
Guy: I know, but you can’t tell them that!

U-Haul
394 4th Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Matthew Healy

They Say, ‘Come Talk to Us When the Dead Answer You’

New-Age employee: Yeah, my granddaughter is an Indigo Child. She can talk to the dead. But, if you ask me, her parents really aren’t doing enough with her talent.

1712 Spring Garden Street
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Atheist cashier in the wrong line of work

Next You’ll Be Reading Our Subpoenas and Overdue Bills

Young boy: Mom! We’ve been in line for a really long time!!
Mother: No, not really. Stop complaining.
Young boy: Yes we have! We got here at 10:00, and it’s almost 12:30!!
Mother: Damn the public school system for teaching you how to tell time.

Petco
Enfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Dark_Kitty