Woman to another, in restroom: Well, I don’t think about it that hard. I just keep sticking it in there and wait to see what happens.
Union City, Tennessee
Overheard by: Did She just say that?
Archive for the ‘Restroom’ Category
Squatters’ Rights, Dude
Employee #1: Do you go in the bathroom like that?
Barefoot employee: Yeah, but I sit down. It’s much cleaner in there.
Employee #2: Wait, did you just admit that you sit down to pee?
1 Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington
You Think You Know Shit, but You Don’t.
Bathroom patron #1: You’re takin’ another shit? What are you, sick or something?
Bathroom patron #2: Nah, man, it’s healthy. You’re supposed to be takin’ seven to ten shits a day.
Manhattan, New York
Now Clean Up That Puddle and Let’s Never Speak Of It Again
Female office drone #1 to #2: No, because I don’t wait until the last minute to pee!
Female office drone #2: Well, I do.
Female office drone #1 : Well, that’s on you, crazy!
Southfield, Michigan
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Let’s go.
Co-worker #2: Can I go to the bathroom first?
Co-worker #1: So go! You have to do it with yours, not with mine!
1250 Broadway
New York, NY
An Unexamined Life Not Being Worth Living
Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!
Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
Oh My God, You Are Walking It!
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
I Need Someone to Help Select a New Window Treatment
Drone: I need to go to the closet.
Supervisor: I’m on my way to the closet right now, I call it first!
Drone: Okay, let me know when you’re out of the closet.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Oh Lord its always like this
You Can Take a Long Lunch If You Let Me Lick It
Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
One Sign That You’ve Been Playing Second Life Too Often.
Admin to another: I just got peed on by a radioactive cat, hold on.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Andy
