Office girl leaving restroom: That's it! I'm done with all my girl parts!
Hawaii
Archive for the ‘Restroom’ Category
I Don't Need You Falling Asleep on the Toilet Again
Male office peon: Do you have any magazines that are interesting and stimulating?
Female office peon (hiding Logistics Management magazine): You are not taking it to the bathroom.
Clifton, New Jersey
Overheard by: My magazines have sentimental value
Not Even a Mint on the Seat?
Manager leaving toilet stall, to next person in line: Don’t worry — I didn’t leave anything in there.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
A Misguided Attempt to Assert Alpha Female Status
Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.
Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois
Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch
Don’t Ask Me to Explain That, Either
Guy, coming out of the men’s room: Wait. Someone actually stole the posters… from around the urinal?
Comic book guy: Don’t ask me to explain it.
Guy: Were they unfamiliar with the concept of nerd hygiene?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Her Poop?
Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!
Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lauren
Yet Needing to Share Chapstick
Intern walking out of bathroom, correcting exiting friend: But if you aren't in a group when you play gay chicken, then it's just two dudes afraid of making out.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: So stop asking
Just Left a Job in Urophilia, Pennsylvania
Job applicant #1: No job is worth having to give someone my pee in a plastic cup!
Job applicant #2: Uh-oh, you’re refusing the drug test?
Job applicant #1: Oh, it’s just a drug test? I thought that manager guy was just some sort of pee-pee pervert.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Oh My God, You Are Walking It!
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
9AM Work Stinks
I was sitting at the reception desk in my office and the main door leading to the hallway and elevators was propped open. I could not see into the hallway, but I could hear a man and a woman talking as they waited for the elevator. Eventually the elevator door opened and one of them got on. As soon as the door closed the other person not only let out a huge sigh of relief but also the biggest fart I have ever heard. I thought I was going to die I laughed so hard.
400 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Melissa Berry