Co-worker #1: Let’s go.
Co-worker #2: Can I go to the bathroom first?
Co-worker #1: So go! You have to do it with yours, not with mine!
1250 Broadway
New York, NY
Archive for the ‘Restroom’ Category
An Unexamined Life Not Being Worth Living
Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!
Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
Oh My God, You Are Walking It!
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
I Need Someone to Help Select a New Window Treatment
Drone: I need to go to the closet.
Supervisor: I'm on my way to the closet right now, I call it first!
Drone: Okay, let me know when you're out of the closet.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Oh Lord its always like this
You Can Take a Long Lunch If You Let Me Lick It
Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
One Sign That You've Been Playing Second Life Too Often.
Admin to another: I just got peed on by a radioactive cat, hold on.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Andy
3PM “Urgent” HR Meeting
Guy #1: I heard she is a squatter.
Guy #2: Really, she has no place to live?
Guy #1: No, she squats above the toilet seat and goes to the bathroom. It gets everywhere so HR is going to talk to her.
Guy #2: Can you imagine what the bathroom in her house must look like?
9740 Irvine Boulevard
Irvine, California
And Flicking Them at Another Toddler
Photo person cleaning out pump nozzle of green hand sanitizer: This is just like picking boogers out of a toddler!
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
…With That Bucket Of Baby Wipes
Male employee #1: I'm gonna go take a shit.
Female employee: I did not need to hear that.
Male employee #1: Well, it's so you know why I'll be gone so long.
Male employee #2: Well, you could be doing something else…
Kent, Ohio
And Here I Thought You Were Just Going to Do Number 1/2
Coworker #1: Haha–you have to use the little boy urinal.
Coworker #2: That's okay. I need the extra clearance.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Envious