Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

And I Was Like, “Mission Accomplished!”

Female coworker #1: By that time I was drunk enough to run in there myself. So I bought one of ’em. It was like a regular condom, but it had these little pink things…
Female coworker #2: You bought a french tickler?
Female coworker #1: Yeah! So we blew it up at our table and started using it as a volleyball. It was really fun for a while, and then I spiked it into the priest’s head and we were asked to leave the reception.

Albany, New York

Overheard by: Doubled over Coworker

And Location Independent!

Employee on phone: I was just calling to confirm that we can show your house all this weekend. I know you don’t usually show on Saturdays, but since you’ll be out of town for the weekend, can we show on Saturday also?
Eccentric homeowner: Oh, no! The Sabbath is for eternity!

Real estate office
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: K the Amazing Receptionist

They’re Not Supposed to Be Dapper

Administrator #1: Well, here’s our wreath, and the lights…
Administrator #2: Wait til she sees what I did to the angel.
Administrator #3: What?
Administrator #2: She wasn’t here last Christmas, she didn’t see it.
(five minutes later)
Administrator #1: Who drew a mustache on the angel?

Fordham University
New York

Dear Diary– Told Charlotte How I Feel Today!

Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.

Rancho Cordova, California

Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.