Manager: Yeah, my uncle owns a car lot — he’s a Jew.
Worker: Oh, your uncle is Jewish?
Manager: No, he just rips people off.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: She did not just say that!
Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category
9AM Thanksgiving…Come Back…
Secretary: You can’t do that!
VP: I’m like Bush. I answer to God.
Secretary: You answer to me!
VP: Isn’t that what I just said?
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
And Location Independent!
Employee on phone: I was just calling to confirm that we can show your house all this weekend. I know you don’t usually show on Saturdays, but since you’ll be out of town for the weekend, can we show on Saturday also?
Eccentric homeowner: Oh, no! The Sabbath is for eternity!
Real estate office
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: K the Amazing Receptionist
They’re Not Supposed to Be Dapper
Administrator #1: Well, here’s our wreath, and the lights…
Administrator #2: Wait til she sees what I did to the angel.
Administrator #3: What?
Administrator #2: She wasn’t here last Christmas, she didn’t see it.
(five minutes later)
Administrator #1: Who drew a mustache on the angel?
Fordham University
New York
Had To – Soiled Myself
Minister: At least I know where I’m going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I’m going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Derrick McClure
Dear Diary– Told Charlotte How I Feel Today!
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
We Mean No Disrespect to Our Muslim Readers, If We Have Any
Gay coworker #1: The new guy is cute!
Gay coworker #2: I know, huh? Cuter than John or Ryan.
Gay coworker #1: Well, I think John is still number one on my list.
Gay coworker #2: This is why I love coming to work everyday.
Gay coworker #1: Yeaahh…me too! It’s like gay Mecca here!
San Francisco, California
11AM Diversity Seminar
Manager: I hate it when black people make a big deal about being black when they accept awards. It’s like the Holocaust; they have to get over it.
4189 Route 9
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Robert Max Freeman
Tonight on the History Channel
Office guy: It’s for the masonic center, don’t fuck it up.
Office girl: Yeah, I hear they will cut a bitch.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Christ’s Business Cards Were English-only
Woman on phone: I was supposed to make the business card English on one side and Japanese on the other, and I put Chinese…and I apologize for it, it was dishonest of me…I didn’t think anyone would notice…but I’m a Christian person and I don’t want to die and go to hell, I’d rather apologize and make it right and go to heaven…I know it’s a little thing but I’m a Christian…
2301 South Third Street
Louisville, Kentucky
