Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I Can Hear the Awk­ward Si­lence from Here

Work­er: [Jeff] did­n’t come in be­cause he has pneu­mo­nia. We went to the hos­pi­tal yes­ter­day.
Man­ag­er: Ever since you and [Jeff] start­ed dat­ing he’s be­gun falling apart. Now he’s got pneu­mo­nia. That’s what drugs will do to you; low­er your im­mune sys­tem.
Work­er: That could­n’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve tak­en ec­sta­cy.

7350 S. Tami­a­mi Trail
Sara­so­ta, Flori­da

All Women Need to Be Hap­py Is Every­thing Else

Younger fe­male cowork­er, de­scrib­ing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don’t know if that in the long run he would be hap­py with me.
Old­er fe­male cowork­er: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they’re won­der­ful and they’re hap­py.

Port­land, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: hor­ri­fied that she’s right

2PM Rou­tine Trans­ac­tion

Teller: Sir, can you please send in your ID since you want to cash this check

Cus­tomer: Well, there’s a prob­lem. I lost my ID, but I can give you my so­cial se­cu­ri­ty num­ber, birth­day, and even tell you the last sev­er­al trans­ac­tions on my ac­count to ver­i­fy.

Teller: Ok, what’s your birth­day and so­cial?

Cus­tomer: [gives in­for­ma­tion]

Teller: Ok, what were the last three charges on your ac­count?

Cus­tomer: [gives in­for­ma­tion]

Teller: So…what’s this $450 charge Pas­sion Par­ties?

Cus­tomer: [Laugh­ter] Uh, that’s some­thing my wife is in­volved in.

730 Ad­kins Boule­vard
Jack­son, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Nathan Best