Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I Can Hear the Awk­ward Si­lence from Here

Work­er: [Jeff] did­n’t come in be­cause he has pneu­mo­nia. We went to the hos­pi­tal yes­ter­day.
Man­ag­er: Ever since you and [Jeff] start­ed dat­ing he’s be­gun falling apart. Now he’s got pneu­mo­nia. That’s what drugs will do to you; low­er your im­mune sys­tem.
Work­er: That could­n’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve tak­en ec­sta­cy.

7350 S. Tami­a­mi Trail
Sara­so­ta, Flori­da

All Women Need to Be Hap­py Is Every­thing Else

Younger fe­male cowork­er, de­scrib­ing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don’t know if that in the long run he would be hap­py with me.
Old­er fe­male cowork­er: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they’re won­der­ful and they’re hap­py.

Port­land, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: hor­ri­fied that she’s right