Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I Can Hear the Awk­ward Si­lence from Here

Work­er: [Jeff] did­n’t come in be­cause he has pneu­mo­nia. We went to the hos­pi­tal yes­ter­day.
Man­ag­er: Ever since you and [Jeff] start­ed dat­ing he’s be­gun falling apart. Now he’s got pneu­mo­nia. That’s what drugs will do to you; low­er your im­mune sys­tem.
Work­er: That could­n’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve tak­en ec­sta­cy.

7350 S. Tami­a­mi Trail
Sara­so­ta, Flori­da

Vic­tor’s Se­cret

Fe­male cowork­er: I woke up to­day and could­n’t find my panties.
Male cowork­er: So, did you find them fi­nal­ly?
Fe­male cowork­er: No. And my hus­band dis­ap­peared…

Law of­fice
New York, New York

Over­heard by: jul­l­lul­ly

No One In­tel­li­gent Gets Mar­ried

Clerk #1: My nephew is get­ting mar­ried, and his moth­er is not hap­py.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mex­i­can, Ital­ian or maybe from In­dia. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s re­al­ly in­tel­li­gent, but they’re wor­ried about him quit­ting col­lege now.

1400 Dou­glas Street
Om­a­ha, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: un­be­liev­able