Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I Can Hear the Awkward Silence from Here

Worker: [Jeff] didn’t come in because he has pneumonia. We went to the hospital yesterday.
Manager: Ever since you and [Jeff] started dating he’s begun falling apart. Now he’s got pneumonia. That’s what drugs will do to you; lower your immune system.
Worker: That couldn’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve taken ecstacy.

7350 S. Tamiami Trail
Sarasota, Florida

All Women Need to Be Happy Is Everything Else

Younger female coworker, describing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don't know if that in the long run he would be happy with me.
Older female coworker: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they're wonderful and they're happy.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: horrified that she's right

2PM Routine Transaction

Teller: Sir, can you please send in your ID since you want to cash this check

Customer: Well, there’s a problem. I lost my ID, but I can give you my social security number, birthday, and even tell you the last several transactions on my account to verify.

Teller: Ok, what’s your birthday and social?

Customer: [gives information]

Teller: Ok, what were the last three charges on your account?

Customer: [gives information]

Teller: So…what’s this $450 charge Passion Parties?

Customer: [Laughter] Uh, that’s something my wife is involved in.

730 Adkins Boulevard
Jackson, Mississippi

Overheard by: Nathan Best