Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I’m sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
It Helps That He’s a Golden Retriever
Lady peon: I really want to fuck him, but I can’t. I’m trying to be monogamous in my non-relationship relationship.
Club restroom
Anchorage, Alaska
Poor Senator McCain
Manager: I can’t take any time off between jobs, with what my wife spends. I have to jump on the next job before she empties out our bank account.
Raritan, New Jersey
Paper Invented People to Carry It from Place to Place
Assistant: I became a secretary because I relate well to paper.
Goldsboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wow
Grip Strength, Too
Peon: Here, let me do it. My forearms are stronger — I’m not married.
Harmony Avenue
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: nightmare1970
Eventually You Just Get Sick Of Candy Hearts
Female cube dweller: They’re livin’ on love. That’s all Mike* and I had our first year too!
Waynesboro, Virginia
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker: Do you want to tell them the truth?
Boss: What’s the truth?
Co-worker: The truth is that you can’t go and I don’t feel like it.
Boss: So you want to tell them that?
Co-worker: Yeah.
Boss: Do you want to tell them the truth or the enchanced version of the truth?
100 Chesley Drive
Media, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Back Office Peon
We’re Imagining Perez Hilton As the Awkward Guy
Office girl #1: Ohmigod, did you hear that Sam Ronson broke up with Lindsay Lohan?
Office girl #2: No. No! Where did you read that?
Awkward office guy, from across office: Aaaand this is why I’m better than you!
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
I Love Dating the Employees
Boss: I went on a date with this guy, and he showed up with the most hideous, tacky tie on. So I just said, ‘That tie is so tacky’ and made him take it off and threw it into the nearest trash can. He thinks I’m so mean, but I’m telling you, he loves it.
171 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Grace Aldridge
Why Sensitivity Training Exists
Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don’t have to eat alone, I’ll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you’re a whore. I don’t know what else to tell you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
