Supervisor: So Tina* and I are actually getting along really well! We discovered that we both have the same work style, which is Crazy Psycho Bitch.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
This Is Almost As Great As Our Tin-Can Phone Idea!
Girl to coworker at desk next to her: I kinda want to interoffice you something to see how long it takes.
Coworker: You totally should!
Girl: Yeah. Then we'd be like pen pals!
Office Building
Manhattan, New York
Broke Our Fun Meter
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
Like You’ve Never Stared at His Package?
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Bitch, You Better Tip Me Like It’s Christmas!
Client: I used to know a girl in school that always played with my hair… She was always messin’ with my hair.
Hairdresser: Do you know what happened to her? Maybe she became a hairstylist?
Client: Oh no… I doubt it… She was really smart.
Hair Salon
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ColorMeFabulous
I Can Hear the Awkward Silence from Here
Worker: [Jeff] didn’t come in because he has pneumonia. We went to the hospital yesterday.
Manager: Ever since you and [Jeff] started dating he’s begun falling apart. Now he’s got pneumonia. That’s what drugs will do to you; lower your immune system.
Worker: That couldn’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve taken ecstacy.
7350 S. Tamiami Trail
Sarasota, Florida
We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Everyone
Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Relax, I’m Just Horngry
Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
Or, As I Affectionately Call Him, “My Little Tar-Baby”
Office manager, calling out to boss: Do I have to take the diversity training if I am married to a black guy?
Viking Drive
Eden Prarie, Minnesota
Overheard by: I wouldn’t think so
All Women Need to Be Happy Is Everything Else
Younger female coworker, describing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don't know if that in the long run he would be happy with me.
Older female coworker: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they're wonderful and they're happy.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: horrified that she's right