Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Or, As I Affectionately Call Him, “My Little Tar-Baby”
Office manager, calling out to boss: Do I have to take the diversity training if I am married to a black guy?
Viking Drive
Eden Prarie, Minnesota
Overheard by: I wouldn’t think so
All Women Need to Be Happy Is Everything Else
Younger female coworker, describing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don't know if that in the long run he would be happy with me.
Older female coworker: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they're wonderful and they're happy.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: horrified that she's right
2PM Routine Transaction
Teller: Sir, can you please send in your ID since you want to cash this check
Customer: Well, there’s a problem. I lost my ID, but I can give you my social security number, birthday, and even tell you the last several transactions on my account to verify.
Teller: Ok, what’s your birthday and social?
Customer: [gives information]
Teller: Ok, what were the last three charges on your account?
Customer: [gives information]
Teller: So…what’s this $450 charge Passion Parties?
Customer: [Laughter] Uh, that’s something my wife is involved in.
730 Adkins Boulevard
Jackson, Mississippi
Overheard by: Nathan Best
3PM Cigarette Break
General Manager: Wait, his ex-wife is white? What color are their children? Beige?
805 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Eric
A Chicago Blues Standard for Good Reason
Coworker #1: If being married is so bad, why are you still married?
Coworker #2: It's cheaper to keep her!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Althoff
The Way You Change Color Like a Kaleidoscope
Office drone: Why is everyone staring at me?
Office chick: You're fun to look at.
Mesquite, Nevada
…Who Says I'm Not Management Material?
Cubicle dweller to another: We should have carpooled in together today so that you could drive me home drunk.
Dallas, Texas
It's What Jesus Would Do
Engineer on phone: Even skanky girls need love too. And I'm single, so I do my part to help.
Grayslake, Illinois
Technically, She's Also My Aunt.
Judge: You've been charged with violation of section […] of the city code: having an open bottle of alcohol in public. How old are you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Eighteen.
Judge: Does anyone else live in your household with you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah, my girlfriend and our two kids.
Judge: How old is your girlfriend?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Thirty-eight.
Judge: Thirty-eight? How long have you two been living together?
Dirty, shirtless white man: About seven years.
Judge: You're 18 and you and this woman have been living together for seven years??
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah.
Judge: Can you post $100 bail?
Dirty, shirtless white man: I have no money, judge.
Judge: Uh, well, then just come back on November 26, okay?
(man leaves)
Judge, to law clerk: He's got enough problems.
City Court
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry