Gay co-worker, loudly, to visibly embarrassed girl who just received a large bunch of roses: Somebody swallowed last weekend!
Oakland House
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Tommy
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
He Just Doesn’t Have the Underwearwithal
Woman: I haven’t talked to Henry* in a week. I’m through with him.
Man: Why? What happened?
Woman: He’s sooo selfish. He took the last t-shirt out of my drawer and wore it.
Man: That’s it? Dumped him over a t-shirt?
Woman: I texted him and told him we’re through.
Man: Wow. Dumped over a Hanes.
Woman: Yep. Infidelity I forgave, but don’t take my last goddamned t-shirt out of my fuckin’ drawer. Selfish!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
First the Briefing, Then the Stabbing
Supervisor: So Tina* and I are actually getting along really well! We discovered that we both have the same work style, which is Crazy Psycho Bitch.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
This Is Almost As Great As Our Tin-Can Phone Idea!
Girl to coworker at desk next to her: I kinda want to interoffice you something to see how long it takes.
Coworker: You totally should!
Girl: Yeah. Then we'd be like pen pals!
Office Building
Manhattan, New York
Broke Our Fun Meter
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
Like You’ve Never Stared at His Package?
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Bitch, You Better Tip Me Like It’s Christmas!
Client: I used to know a girl in school that always played with my hair… She was always messin’ with my hair.
Hairdresser: Do you know what happened to her? Maybe she became a hairstylist?
Client: Oh no… I doubt it… She was really smart.
Hair Salon
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ColorMeFabulous
I Can Hear the Awkward Silence from Here
Worker: [Jeff] didn’t come in because he has pneumonia. We went to the hospital yesterday.
Manager: Ever since you and [Jeff] started dating he’s begun falling apart. Now he’s got pneumonia. That’s what drugs will do to you; lower your immune system.
Worker: That couldn’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve taken ecstacy.
7350 S. Tamiami Trail
Sarasota, Florida
We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Everyone
Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Relax, I’m Just Horngry
Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me