Overheard In The Office

Archive for the ‘Receptionists’ Category

3PM Cof­fee Break

EA: …she’s still learn­ing to change a di­a­per and all that.
Suit: Re­al­ly?
EA: Yeah, but it’s been ex­tra hard emo­tion­al­ly be­cause our fam­i­ly is re­al­ly strict and my dad still can’t ad­mit to him­self that this hap­pened. All he’s said is, “I sent you to pri­vate school! Don’t they have sex ed there?” and “How could this hap­pen?” Which does­n’t help her at all.
Suit: No, prob­a­bly not.
EA: It’s like, “Dad, the ba­by is al­ready here, get a grip.” But, well, she’s the ba­by of the fam­i­ly and I guess we all know how fa­thers are.
Suit: No, ac­tu­al­ly, I don’t. I nev­er met mine.

40 IDX Dri­ve
South Burling­ton, Ver­mont

Over­heard by: Bub­ble Wrap THIS

12PM Lunch

Ac­coun­tant: This chick­en [Sue] brought in is yum­my. I’m just go­ing to take a break to eat it here rather than take it back to my desk. I don’t trust my­self not to get my pa­per­work all greasy.
Su­per­vi­sor: That’s why I’m go­ing to make a sand­wich out of it.
Sec­re­tary: Oh, I don’t care about greasy fin­gers. All I do is han­dle in­com­ing checks all day.

401 Church Street
Nashville, Ten­nessee

Those Are Re­al?

Ac­count rep: Is this oth­er el­e­va­tor still bro­ken?
Re­cep­tion­ist: Cor­rect.
Ac­count rep: But, but, is­n’t that, like, a fire haz­ard?
Re­cep­tion­ist: Um, see those signs that say ‘In case of fire, do not use el­e­va­tors’?
Ac­count rep: Oh. Right.

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: glad she’s not a fire­fight­er

The Mis­take Is Try­ing to Find Celebri­ties to Re­spect

Re­cep­tion­ist #1: Do you know who Jes­si­ca Simp­son is dat­ing?
Re­cep­tion­ist #2: No, I don’t care. … Who?
Re­cep­tion­ist #1: I read it in Peo­ple so you know it’s true. You’re go­ing to be so pissed.
Re­cep­tion­ist #2: Ok, who?
Re­cep­tion­ist #1: John May­er!
Re­cep­tion­ist #2: Whaaaaaat?
Re­cep­tion­ist #1: I know, right?
Re­cep­tion­ist #2: Dude. What is with every celebri­ty guy I ever re­spect­ed let­ting me down late­ly? First Jared Leto look­ing like a labia at the VMAs, now this?
Re­cep­tion­ist #1: At least it’s not Dane Cook.
Re­cep­tion­ist #2: I know. At least he’s pre­served.
Re­cep­tion­ist #1: At least he was­n’t taint­ed by her taint.

Taunton, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: ker­i­ly

2PM Client Meet­ing

Lawyer on phone: I don’t care what you want to do, just file the fuck­ing re­port! Shut the fuck up and file the fuck­ing thing!
Client: Yikes.
Sec­re­tary: He’s yelling at his oth­er sec­re­tary.
Client: …Yeah, but–
Lawyer: I said file the fuck­ing thing!
Sec­re­tary: It’s okay. She’s al­so his wife.

430 West First Street
New Al­bany, In­di­ana