Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for the ‘Receptionists’ Category
Did Donald Duck Abuse Huey, Dewey and Louie? Discuss.
Older woman discussing the movie Bambi: Why did they keep calling him “little prince?” And where was his father?
Receptionist: Bucks don't participate in raising the fawns.
Older woman: That's so mean!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
I Used to Call Them “The G Spot,” But Everyone on Staff Got Confused
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
The Ones I Hired an Hour Ago Are Already Exhausted
Receptionist on cell: We're going to have to make a special trip to New York, girl, because I need some new door knockers in my life, and you know I'm not going to find them around here.
Portland, Oregon
Disingenuousness Is Part Of My Professional Persona
Receptionist, on phone: Ocean View* Escrow
Processor: Darlene* please.
Receptionist: She’s on the other line. Would you like to hold?
Processor: I’d love to.
Receptionist: Really?
Processor: Not big on sarcasm, are you?
1950 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Matt
2PM Conference
Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.
Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
11AM Outlook Training
Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.
5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois
4PM Talk to HR
Assistant: I submitted this check request a month ago, can you tell me why it hasn’t been paid yet?
Accountant: Oh, you wanted it paid?
40 W. 20th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Faith Black
Even Telling the Truth About It Nauseates Me
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
They Really Improve the Reception on the Beamed Instructions from the Spider Aliens from Dimension X
Secretary: You know, those wireless headsets have been a boon for the homeless.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: mmhmmm