Supervisor: Did someone order colored pencils from the office supply place?
Assistant: I’m thinking of becoming a caricaturist.
330 Madison Ave
New York City
Archive for the ‘Receptionists’ Category
Cheap Dinner Dates?
Loud secretary: What do you call people who are from Dutch?
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hiding in cubicle
The Mistake Is Trying to Find Celebrities to Respect
Receptionist #1: Do you know who Jessica Simpson is dating?
Receptionist #2: No, I don’t care. … Who?
Receptionist #1: I read it in People so you know it’s true. You’re going to be so pissed.
Receptionist #2: Ok, who?
Receptionist #1: John Mayer!
Receptionist #2: Whaaaaaat?
Receptionist #1: I know, right?
Receptionist #2: Dude. What is with every celebrity guy I ever respected letting me down lately? First Jared Leto looking like a labia at the VMAs, now this?
Receptionist #1: At least it’s not Dane Cook.
Receptionist #2: I know. At least he’s preserved.
Receptionist #1: At least he wasn’t tainted by her taint.
Taunton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kerily
2PM Client Meeting
Lawyer on phone: I don’t care what you want to do, just file the fucking report! Shut the fuck up and file the fucking thing!
Client: Yikes.
Secretary: He’s yelling at his other secretary.
Client: …Yeah, but–
Lawyer: I said file the fucking thing!
Secretary: It’s okay. She’s also his wife.
430 West First Street
New Albany, Indiana
You Can Take a Long Lunch If You Let Me Lick It
Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
Did Donald Duck Abuse Huey, Dewey and Louie? Discuss.
Older woman discussing the movie Bambi: Why did they keep calling him “little prince?” And where was his father?
Receptionist: Bucks don't participate in raising the fawns.
Older woman: That's so mean!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
I Used to Call Them “The G Spot,” But Everyone on Staff Got Confused
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
The Ones I Hired an Hour Ago Are Already Exhausted
Receptionist on cell: We're going to have to make a special trip to New York, girl, because I need some new door knockers in my life, and you know I'm not going to find them around here.
Portland, Oregon
Disingenuousness Is Part Of My Professional Persona
Receptionist, on phone: Ocean View* Escrow
Processor: Darlene* please.
Receptionist: She’s on the other line. Would you like to hold?
Processor: I’d love to.
Receptionist: Really?
Processor: Not big on sarcasm, are you?
1950 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Matt
2PM Conference
Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.
Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York