Receptionist: No, sir. No, I don’t know where you heard that. (pause) No, our judges cannot issue you a new Green Card over the phone.
Baltimore, Maryland
Archive for the ‘Receptionists’ Category
What Separates Secretaries From Admins
Secretary: I didn’t know I could write off a hummer on my taxes!
383 Madison Street
New York, NY
Career Tip: Offer to Speak to the Customer For Your Boss
Boss, with customer on phone, to secretary: Mr Smith* says he doesn’t understand this bill you sent him.
Secretary, quietly, from across the room: It isn’t complicated, can’t he read?
Boss, loudly, next to phone: Yes, he can read!
Winchester, Virginia
9AM Back to Work
Receptionist: He’s not in, may I take a message?…No, we don’t have voice mail, but I’ll be happy to take a message…I write it on a piece of paper and had it to him when he comes in.
1718 Villa Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
1PM Lunch
CSR: You know sometimes when you blow, you can feel it in your throat?
Secretary: No, I don’t blow that hard.
CSR: Well, I blow hard and I can feel it sometimes. It sucks.
541 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Eve S Dropper
…Unless You Count the Superscript 3.
Coworker on cell: “A” as in “apple,” “k” as in “kite”…
Receptionist: Wait, “kite” starts with a “c.”
Manhattan, New York
Someone’s Been Sniffing the Toner Again
Receptionist, on his last day: How can I give the rest of the staff access to these files?
Tech guy: Put them on the network.
Receptionist: Where’s the network?
Tech guy: Exactly! It’s everywhere, man!
University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
Overheard by: I’m New Here
Who’s on (Safety) First?
Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.
Avon, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fae
Is It Just Me or Do They Both Sound Like Superhero Names?
Employee: Hi.
Receptionist (without looking up): Hi.
(employee walks behind desk)
Receptionist (still not looking) What are you doing?
Employee: Shredding.
Receptionist (looks up confused): What?
Employee (turns on machine): Wow, your shredder is really slow.
Receptionist: That’s the laminator.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Walking to the Bathroom
They’re Usually on the East Side
Receptionist: Hello. May I help you?
Woman: I would like to apply for a job here.
Receptionist: Why are you leaving your current job?
Woman: Ain’t no movin’ up positions.
220 Dupont Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Jack Boston
