Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

This Is How #2 Gets His Proof­read­ing Done for Free

Cowork­er #1: Have you filed your trav­el vouch­er for that con­fer­ence in In­di­anapo­lis?
Cowork­er #2: Yes.
Cowork­er #1: Let me see your copy so I can fill mine out cor­rect­ly.
Cowork­er #2: Here you go.
Cowork­er #1: Let’s see. You used the year ’05 in­stead of ’06, did not pro­vide departure/arrival times, omit­ted your so­cial se­cu­ri­ty num­ber, and did­n’t to­tal the round trip mileage and mileage re­im­burse­ment columns. Thanks.

4555 Cen­tral Av­enue
Colum­bus, In­di­ana

My No­to­ri­ety’s Al­ready Got­ten Chlamy­dia Four Times

Gos­sip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left dur­ing lunch to­geth­er. What’s goin’ on there?
Nate: Noth­in’.
Gos­sip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eat­ing lunch with some­one cor­re­late to hav­ing pen­e­trat­ed them? I swear to god, my rep­u­ta­tion gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: me

Would­n’t Stop Dri­ving My Hot Rod Lin­coln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the pass­word to see it on­line. So, I need to know how much it is.
Em­ploy­ee: You can’t pay it with­out his au­tho­riza­tion. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t au­tho­rize any­thing, he’s in­car­cer­at­ed.
Em­ploy­ee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obit­u­ary or the death cer­tifi­cate.
Woman: What? He’s in­car­cer­at­ed! [pause] He’s in jail.
Em­ploy­ee: Oh.

Fred­er­ick, Mary­land