Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hating!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-blocker. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?
350 South Figueroa
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Sexual tension in the workplace?
Co-worker: Where do we sign up for that class? Ass-kissing 101?
‘Cause I think I have this negative reaction to it that’s holding me back, and I think that a class could really help me break down barriers.
1910 Pacific Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Editor #1: I have finger toes.
Photographer: You mean like long and bony?
Editor #1: Yeah, I can, like, pick stuff up with them.
Editor #2: Do you pinch people with them?
Editor #1: Yeah. I always pinch [my wife]. She hates it.
Editor #2: God is just preparing you for when you lose your arms.
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Part time girl: Isn't it illegal to work five days in a row?
Coworker: That's what normal people do.
Part time girl: Oh…that sucks.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Nicole
Exec: Look, I don’t care about the Weekly World News. All I want to know is how this affects the Bigfoot cover!
Star Magazine
1 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.
Cleveland, Ohio
Assistant: Can you stick around? I need supervision for this.
Manager: Really? I'd rather have super hearing than super vision. (pause) Oh, you meant “supervision,” didn't you?
Assistant: Do you think someone else could help me with this?
Baltimore, Maryland
Boss: I think I'll have a sandwich now.
Employee: Okay, cool.
Boss: What's cool about that?
Employee: Nothing.
Boss: Why'd you say it then?
Employee: You're so difficult!
Boss: No, you're difficult!
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Receptionist: Farce? Is that like farts?
352 7th Avenue
New York, New York
CSR: So that is apartment “E,” like “echo”?
Customer: Eh… No, no, no. “E” like “elephant”!
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia