Coworker #1: It was amazing. He was the first blind man to climb mount Everest. He was in the news and everything.
Coworker #2: Did they say anything about his dog?
Coworker #1: What?
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meesh
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
There Goes the Whole Function of Language
Businesslady: Where the hell is my charger, did I leave it at the office? I thought I put it in, but…Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to myself.
TSA lady: Well, that’s OK, Sugar. Sometimes we have to talk to ourselves because we’re the only ones who can understand.
Sky Harbor Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
This Is How #2 Gets His Proofreading Done for Free
Coworker #1: Have you filed your travel voucher for that conference in Indianapolis?
Coworker #2: Yes.
Coworker #1: Let me see your copy so I can fill mine out correctly.
Coworker #2: Here you go.
Coworker #1: Let’s see. You used the year ’05 instead of ’06, did not provide departure/arrival times, omitted your social security number, and didn’t total the round trip mileage and mileage reimbursement columns. Thanks.
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Just a Minute–I’ll Czech
Customer: Hi, can I get hold of Czech crowns here?
Bank flunky: Uhh…What was his first name again?
ASB Bank, Great North Road
Auckland, New Zealand
Let’s Just Say the Body Shots Got a Little Out of Hand
Female coworker: Hey there, sweetie. Did you have fun yesterday?
Male coworker: Huh?
Female coworker: You had the day off, didn’t you?
Male coworker: I was at a funeral. My grandmother died.
Westlake
Seattle, Washington
My Notoriety’s Already Gotten Chlamydia Four Times
Gossip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left during lunch together. What’s goin’ on there?
Nate: Nothin’.
Gossip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eating lunch with someone correlate to having penetrated them? I swear to god, my reputation gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: me
Drop a Bunch Of Condoms on the Floor, and He’ll Immediately Tell You How Many There Are
Secretary: So, what’s her husband like?
Manager: Oh, he’s kind of like Mr Bean…you think he may be slightly autistic but he’s still really sexually attractive.
Secretary: Uhh…
Office
Sydney
Australia
Just So Long as You Don’t Throw a Surprise Party
Co-worker: How much are you supposed to give when someone’s mom dies? Because all I have is a five.
300 N. Commons Boulevard
Mayfield, Ohio
Eventually He Wore Them Down to the Point Where They Hired One
Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I’m sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Shamim
Wouldn’t Stop Driving My Hot Rod Lincoln
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
