Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Reception
Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Reception
Supervisor to contractor: What can I do to turn you on?
Shipyard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: sarah
Program manager #1, in midst of cubical maze: Hey, where did all that bacon go?
Program manager #2, chanting happily: Bacon bacon bacon!
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Trim female coworker: How was your weekend?
Overweight female coworker: It was okay… Ooh! I thought of you yesterday. I was taking a bath…
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Geeky cashier: How are you pay’n for this?
Guy in a hurry: Cash.
Geeky cashier: Like cash, cash?
Guy in a hurry: What?
Best Buy
Newmarket
Ontario, Canadia
Office Clerk #1: Have you noticed that there aren’t any ceiling sprinklers in this entire building?
Office Clerk #2: Y’know, you’re right. But there are smoke detectors.
Office Clerk #1: And those will certainly help put out the flames when we’re trapped in our cubicles.
Supervisor: Well…maybe the sprinklers are above the false ceiling.
Employee #1: Oh…so when there is a fire the sprinklers will soak the ceiling tiles which will cause them to fall to the ground and smother the flames?
406 West 34th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Presenter: We’re going to go over our organization’s strengths and weaknesses now. So, do you want to talk about how much we suck or how much we rock first?
Audience member: That’s what she said.
STAND Conference, Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Peon #1: Did they steam clean our chairs this weekend like they were supposed to?
Peon #2: Doesn’t smell like it.
Richmond, Virginia
Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn’t really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.“
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn’t recognize her.
Des Moines, Iowa
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist