Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

Though I Could Also Picture David Duchovny Saying It

New partner, opening mail: Oh, it's my gold card. Wonder what's the difference between this and a regular Amex.
Smart-ass IT guy: Well, it creates a gravitational anomaly when you whip it out in high-end restaurants, causing all the girls' panties to hit the floor.
New partner: I could have asked a thousand people that question, only you would have given that answer.

Winnipeg
Canadia

I Did Watch Every Season Of Veronica's Closet, If That's What You Mean

Straight cube-dweller, about hole punch: Well, it shouldn't go there. It should be out in the open on the desk where I can see it.
Gay cube-dweller: What, you couldn't see it sitting there?
Straight cube-dweller: Well, it lives on my desk, not in the closet.
Gay cube-dweller: It's a shelf above your desk, not a closet.
Straight cube-dweller: Well, you would know more about closets than shelves, wouldn't you?

West Lafayette, Indiana

12PM Contact Locksmith

Employee #1: Our VP of Operations locked himself out of his office. He hasn’t been able to get in for about an hour now.
Employee #2: Nobody has a spare key?
Employee #1: Nope, and the tool box that we keep here to help in these kinds of situations is locked in his office too.

650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida