Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

Clin­ton Was a Rhodes Schol­ar, and He Still Picks up Trash on Fri­day Nights

Sales­man: It’s this whole ‘No Child Left Be­hind, let’s get all the kids to grad­u­ate col­lege’ bull­shit. If every­body goes to col­lege, who’s gonna do the work? Huh? Who’s gonna dig the ditch­es? Who’s gonna pick up the trash? We don’t need that. We need kids to drop out of school and do the work.

Birch Street
Brea, Cal­i­for­nia

4PM Call [the Client]

Sec­re­tary: [The client] keeps call­ing and ask­ing for me. And you know what? The next time he does that, I’m go­ing to tell him that you lied to him.
Boss: What? Why?
Sec­re­taty: Be­cause you tell him you’re go­ing to do all these things for him, and you don’t!
Boss: That’s be­cause he’s an id­iot!

527 West Jef­fer­son Street
Louisville, Ken­tucky

Yes! An­oth­er Big Win for Strate­gic In­com­pe­tence!

Sales man­ag­er: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill every­thing out be­fore­hand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: It’s in the Mid­dle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales man­ag­er: No, the Mid­dle East! It’s in­ter­na­tion­al.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not in­ter­na­tion­al.
Sales man­ag­er: I’ll just do it my­self.

Louisville, Ken­tucky

11AM EOY Staff Meet­ing

Man­ag­er: We’re all sharks. Re­mem­ber, guys.
Em­ploy­ee: Huh? Sharks?
Man­ag­er: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep mov­ing their whole life or they’ll die. They nev­er stop mov­ing. So keep mov­ing, guys! We’re sharks!
Em­ploy­ee: So ba­si­cal­ly what you’re say­ing is that if we stop mov­ing, you’ll kill us all?

208 Chain Lake Dri­ve
Hal­i­fax, No­va Sco­tia