Coworker: Dude, what’s the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo’s, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale’s good for something.
Manhattan, New York
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Makes You Wonder If It’s Us or the Customers
General manager: Did Jimmy* clean the wall in the bathroom?
Business manager: Yeah. Who put boogers on the wall, anyway?
Main Street
Saginaw, Michigan
10AM Update Resume
Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No.
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
Except He Keeps Bringing Home Mice to Help Him Make Clothes
Male coworker: So he wants to be Cinderella?
Female coworker: Yes.
Male coworker: Like *Cinderella* Cinderella?
Female coworker: Yes. I figure, if he wants to be like his uncle, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Temp-tation
No, No, Wait — a Parking Meter!
Biology teacher: So, in conclusion, diffusion is ions separating from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.
15-year-old blonde: So it’s like an orange, right?
High school
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: jess
Probably for Historical Reasons
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
It’s a Supernatural Three’s Company
Coworker: How many people in your household?
Client: 3 souls and 1 body.
Duluth, Minnesota
Oh, That Old Question?
Coworker #1: [taking on the phone.]Coworker #2: Do you sleep in a butter dish or something?
Coworker #1: [continues talking on the phone.]
Houston, Texas
4PM Run, Run, All the Way Home
Worker #1: Oh, damn! Would you look at that? I have on two different pair of shoes.
Worker #2: You’re just now relizing that? The day’s almost over with…what a dumbass!
Worker #1: Yeah whatever, maybe I’ll switch them out tomorrow. At least they are the same color.
210 Main Street
Dallas, Georgia
That Long Weekend is Finally Here!
Lawyer #1: I now ask that this binder be admitted into evidence.
Lawyer #2: We would object to that, Your Honor.
Judge: What is your basis for introducing this into evidence?
Lawyer #1: The “moving things along faster” basis.
Judge: Denied.
500 Pearl Street
New York, NY
