Office mate #1 (asking for money for lunch): Are you trying to break me already?
Office mate #2: I would love to break you.
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
A Friend Would Lie to Me
Receptionist: I feel like I look like I just rolled out of bed and came into work.
Dental assistant: Well…did you?
Receptionist: Well, yeah…but still!
Centennial, Colorado
4PM Retreat Planning Committee
Boss #1: So this year’s convention will be at the MGM Graham in Las Vegas…What?
Boss #2: Did you say “graham” like graham cracker?
Boss #1: It’s not “graham”?
3411 Pinnacle Gardens Drive
Louisville, Kentucky
5PM Finally, the Weekend
Suit #1: How did your glasses break?
Suit #2: A big girl sat on them.
Suit #1: Next time take them off your face first.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
I’m Just Trying to Be Polite
Hardhat #1 yelling to buddy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hardhat #2: Insanity.
Hardhat #1: Shamu?
Hardhat #2: No — insanity.
Hardhat #1: I can’t hear anything down here.
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
It Is Now
Office mate #1: My brother's girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother's girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?
Santa Monica, California
Sit Tight– This Conversation Could Go on All. Friggin. Day.
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Yours Is the “Lollipop Guild” Song, for No Reason Whatsoever
Cube rat #1: Oh, I love that ringtone! That's from Wizard of Oz, isn't it?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead is my favorite song in that whole movie.
Cube rat #1: Who called?
Cube rat #2: My mother-in-law.
Cube rat #1, lauhging: Got any others?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, I've got If I Only Had a Brain on there, too.
Cube rat #1: Who's that one for?
Cube rat #2: My boss.
Bossier City, Louisiana
My Secret: I Haven't Showered in Weeks.
Office girl #1: You smell nice. What are you wearing?
Office girl #2: Deodorant.
Washington, DC
Um, I'll Just Put You Down As “Undecided.”
Boss: Are you homophobic?
Employee: I have an African American cousin! Of course I'm not homophobic!
Nashville, Tennessee