Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It’s a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn’t he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It’s a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don’t eat your friends!
Borders
Melbourne Central
Australia
Overheard by: Incognito
Leasing rep: Well, the girl was 14 and her mother’s 21! How is she going to learn anything with a mother like that? And the grandmother is only 32!
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this?
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting
Worker: First, go to the website. [says URL]Customer: Do I need to go online first?
Maryland
Female coworker #1, quietly: So have you had any success yet?
Female coworker #2, quietly: No, she won’t let me anywhere near her feet.
Female coworker #1: Okay. I’ll tell you what you’ve got to do. (whispers furtively)
Chili, New York
Overheard by: NewGirl
Cubicle mate on phone: Yeah, that’s so me. Wait, now what is this called? Well I’d rather be a dog walker than a porn star!
Topeka, Kansas
Worker: So, what’s the plan for today?
Boss (loudly): Same thing as always. (now quietly) …try to take over the world.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
New York City, New York
Male coworker, as female places personal ad: Did you just say you were five years old?!
21135 Erwin Street
Woodland Hills, California
Office jokester: If one person calls you a jackass, that’s their opinion. If ten people call you a jackass, get a saddle.
Office dullard: What’s a saddle?
Cooper City, Florida
Overheard by: Knows what a saddle is
Presenter: People never want to see Loss Prevention until they need them. But we’re friendly. Like the police in your town. I mean, don’t you think the police in your town are your friends?
The class stared back at him blankly.
10 Mountainview Road
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist