Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

2PM Work on Pre­sen­ta­tion

Co-work­er #1: So will you give the pre­sen­ta­tion to the new in­take?
Co-work­er #2: No.
Co-work­er #1: Why not?
Co-work­er #2: I have made a per­son­al lifestyle choice not to be help­ful to any­one in the com­pa­ny.

120 Ton­bridge Road
Hilden­bor­ough, Kent
UK

Who the Hell Hired You, Any­way?

Op­er­a­tions man­ag­er: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have ba­bies!
Op­er­a­tions man­ag­er: Ok… Do you have any goals in re­gards to your fu­ture with our com­pa­ny?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was re­al­ly just born to have ba­bies.

Dal­las Park­way
Dal­las

Over­heard by: Ad­dy

10AM Project Meet­ing

Work­er #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Man­ag­er: Yeah, it’s been hec­tic. I need some of that ge­ico bal­boa stuff.
Work­er #1: Uh, ginko bil­boa?
Project Man­ag­er: That’s what I said.
Work­er #1: No, you said “ge­ico bal­boa”.
Project Man­ag­er: What’s the dif­fer­ence?
Work­er #1: Well, Ge­ico is an in­sur­ance com­pa­ny, and Bal­boa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Man­ag­er: Ha! I won­der if he gets a hard time for that.
Work­er #1: He’s not a re­al per­son. Be­sides, I think what you meant was you need­ed some gin­seng. Do you know what ginko bil­boa is for?
Work­er #2: Okay, se­ri­ous­ly, how long is this meet­ing go­ing to be?

6700 Hol­lis­ter Road
Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Damien Se­bas­tiani

10AM Or­der an iPod

Woman: So you on­ly lis­ten to the Cardi­gans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just af­ter a hot show­er, fresh and tingly all over.

1111 Fan­nin Street
Hous­ton, Texas

9AM Back to Work

Sweaty, mid­dle-aged man in run­ning shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young busi­ness woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, mid­dle-aged man in run­ning shorts: I just want­ed ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are un­der your sun­glass­es.
Young busi­ness woman #2: Umm…no. We’re work­ing.
Sweaty, mid­dle-aged man: Oh, nev­er mind.

2825 East­lake Av­enue East
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

So is He Bruce Spring­steen or Tony Dan­za?

Speak­er­phone: So, we’re fill­ing out nametags for next week’s meet­ing. What’s Randy’s ti­tle?
Re­cep­tion­ist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speak­er­phone: Okay, but what’s his ti­tle?
Re­cep­tion­ist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speak­er­phone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his ti­tle?
Re­cep­tion­ist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speak­er­phone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.

35555 Garfield Road
Clin­ton Town­ship, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Stephanie Saf­fold