Project manager: I mean, it’s really not even a bender unless it’s affecting your performance at work, now is it?
1620 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category
So It Looks Good in Tight Buns?
VP to general counsel: A nine-inch wiener is a nine-inch wiener. You’ve got to make it look pretty.
850 Bryant Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: IC Balaam
2PM Layoff Announcements
Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on.
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
4PM I’m Objectively Done for the Week
Art Director: It’s hard to be objective when you only see the universe from your point of view.
250 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
So, in Summary, I’m Sorry about Your Desk
Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.
1372 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: ILmatic
…Just Like It Says on Our Company Letterhead.
New hire: Can’t we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.
Washington, DC
Was That a Threat, Ma’am?
Guard to woman, as metal detector beeps at her: Please step over here, ma’am.
Woman: I don’t carry sharp objects on me…except my wit.
Guard: Please.
LAX Security Check-In
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 2Aron
Mike’s Days at the Company Were Numbered After This
Office jokester: If one person calls you a jackass, that’s their opinion. If ten people call you a jackass, get a saddle.
Office dullard: What’s a saddle?
Cooper City, Florida
Overheard by: Knows what a saddle is
Oops.
Congressional staffer in hallway, in low voice: I gotta be careful who’s around… It might be dangerous to be overheard.
House of Representatives Office Building
Washington, DC
The Worst Is When They Start Fighting
Inadequate manager called Chris*, muttering quietly to himself in different voices: You’re a hero, Chris. (pause) I know I am, Chris, I’m a real hero. (pause) Chris, I’m just the best.
Council Office
London
England
