Parent to teacher: Would it be possible for students to have extra recess time instead of silent reading?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category
Boys and Girls Are Just Wired Differently, Sweetie
Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I’m confused.
Dad: Um…don’t worry about it.
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: SK
Those Who Can’t Do, Teach
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I don’t think I am going to keep my realtor’s license.
Boss’s 80-year-old mom: Okay… Then what are you going to do?
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I’ll become a sex therapist!
126 York Street
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
I Just Unplug Their Cable
Coworker on phone to husband: We have to start hiding that camera from her. Yeah, yeah… You want me to beat her? Honey, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding! You know I never beat the kids.
14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Sara
Which Is to Say It’s Like the Subway
Father, trying to get his teenage daughter excited about reading The Odyssey: It’s like a horror movie… for really, really old people.
Public Library
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: not-so-old but I still like The Odyssey
…Minimum
Nine-year-old girl in child psychology office, talking a mile a minute: And, mom, the teacher was really upset that we didn’t know how long a century is! Yeah, she was really upset cause none of us knew!
Mom: Do you know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! I didn’t know either! I don’t know how long a century is!
Mom, incredulous: You don’t know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! How long is it?
Mom, without hesitation: Ten years.
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Which one of you is seeing the therapist again?
You Got Me Arrested Last Saturday
Young son to dad: I love you, dad. (goes over and gives him a hug)
Dad: I told you to get away from me!
Roosevelt Field Mall
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: Reena
Honesty and Parenting Are Mutually Exclusive
Mom to little kid: I told you not to go in the road.
Dad: Yeah, you get hit by a car, you gon’ be in there with mama on a bed. [Kid stares.] You get hit by a car, you gon’ have to get X‑rays. You want X‑rays? X‑rays hurt.
Doctor’s office, 35th Street and Redwood Road
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: JChan
Mom’s in Human Resources
Seven-year-old daughter on speakerphone: I saw a cute mother-daughter necklace at the store. It said “if daughters were flowers I’d still pick you.” See, mom? I’m like a flower! I smell sweet!
Mother: Yeah, and when you die, I’ll throw you away.
Pryor, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Danielle
He Just Found Out That Phone Calls Are Social Intercourse
Teen daughter: Daddy, Daddy, the pink Razr is on sale. Will you buy it for me now? You promised!
Father: No, I don’t need you to get pregnant. Now let’s go!
4350 Joslyn Road
Auburn Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: rahneej
