Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

I Got That Ages Ago

Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in Atlanta yesterday?
Daughter, faking excitement: Herpes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!

Mall
Georgia

Overheard by: P‑Nuckle

Three’s Normal, Right?

Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.“
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!

Providence, Rhode Island

Those Who Can’t Do, Teach

Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I don’t think I am going to keep my realtor’s license.
Boss’s 80-year-old mom: Okay… Then what are you going to do?
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I’ll become a sex therapist!

126 York Street
Elmhurst, Illinois

Overheard by: Joanie

Also the Idea behind Internet Porn

Man referring to stuffed beaver’s tail with ‘Do not touch’ sign: Can my daughter touch this?
Worker: No.
Man to daughter: You can’t touch it, honey, because Miss Sensory Deprivation over here wants you to touch with your eyes, not with your hands.

Sterling, Virginia