Concerned mother on phone: My son just informed me that the room deposits are due tomorrow.
Secretary: Yes.
Mother: But I’m in Germany, and if I mailed in the money it would take two weeks.
Secretary: Your son could pay with a debit card or cash.
Mother: I gave him a debit card and he lost it.
Secretary: Uh-huh.
Mother: … My son is a goddamned idiot.
Virginia
Ghetto woman: I’m only here because I got a gift certificate. I hate Manhattan. I never come here. I can’t stand it. Everyone is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would never be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these people.
Nail technician: Where do you work?
Ghetto woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the county.
Nail technician: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghetto woman: Brooklyn. Tommy! Sit still in that chair for godsakes!!
14th St & 6th Ave
New York City
Overheard by: seriously?
Mom: So, my son had a party while I was away, but at least he cleaned up the blood before I got home.
Friend: Wait… what?
Career Center
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: Unemployed and unemployable
Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon
Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.
Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington
Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: who calls their son
Parent to teacher: Would it be possible for students to have extra recess time instead of silent reading?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.
Dad: Um…don't worry about it.
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: SK
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I don’t think I am going to keep my realtor’s license.
Boss’s 80-year-old mom: Okay… Then what are you going to do?
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I’ll become a sex therapist!
126 York Street
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Coworker on phone to husband: We have to start hiding that camera from her. Yeah, yeah… You want me to beat her? Honey, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding! You know I never beat the kids.
14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Sara