Archive for the ‘Outbursts’ Category

1PM Lunch

Co-work­er on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was some­thing you did­n’t eat be­sides cheese…Well I’m just say­ing you should have told me you did­n’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well what­ev­er you are, you’re an id­iot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Av­enue
New York, NY

They’re Fi­nal­ly Gonna Cork That Pesky Vol­cano

Co-work­er: Would you like a donut?
Enor­mous woman: No, thank you.
Co-work­er: Why not? Are you on a di­et or some­thing?
Enor­mous woman: Ac­tu­al­ly, yes, I am on a di­et. I am go­ing on va­ca­tion to Hawaii at the end of the month and I have on­ly six more pounds to lose un­til I reach my goal! I want to take a he­li­copter ride over Ki­lauea, but the he­li­copter com­pa­ny charges $100 more if you weigh more than 200 pounds. Hope they don’t weigh me on the spot since I am not sure I will be less than 200 pounds un­less it’s in the morn­ing, af­ter I’ve had a pee, and I’m nude…Does any­one have any top­ics they’d like to add to the agen­da for to­day?
Man­ag­er: Um…yeah, I do, but give me a minute.

560 Mc­Carthy Boule­vard
Mil­pi­tas, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: CW Slave