Bridezilla-to-be on cell in lounge: … Yeah, but, like, his family is just so different than ours, Mom! They’re lower class and aren’t used to spending a lot of money on stuff like that!
Insurance company
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Outbursts’ Category
Cheap or Pushy, You’re Still Making It Hard for the Rest of Us
Partner: Fuck that!…Fuck you! I am not cheap! I want what’s rightfully my client’s!
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: GJG
There’s Only One Cure for an Overdose Of Children’s TV
Very sketchy neighbor to two-year-old: Who gives a fuck about Dora?!
Hospital
Maine
Overheard by: Irritated
Career Tip: Learn Which Colleagues to Leave Alone in the Morning
Office girl, popping head into cubicle: Hi Jane*!
Jane: Ahhhhhhh! (frightened, ear-piercing scream that goes on for 20 seconds)
Office girl: Sh! Shh! It’s me!
Jane: (carries on screaming)
Ad Agency
Singapore
Overheard by: eM
It Was Joe Something, Right?
Coworker: Whoever invented coffee was amazing!!
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: thought God did that?
Often to a Scary Degree
Office lady, from cubicle: White! (pause) Did you like my answer when I said white? Sometimes it’s purple.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
When White South Africans Dream
Loud white lady: Seattle was so beautiful… Then I get back here and it’s like being in Africa!
Large black man It’s not like Africa.
Loud white lady: Well, minus all the black people…
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: itstooearlyforthis
1PM Lunch
Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.
622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
4PM Return Truck
U‑Haul guy #1: Okay! Pickup on the right…dropoffs on the left.
U‑Haul guy #2: Yeah…Pickups on the left, dropoffs on the right.
U‑Haul guy #1: What? No! You’re fucking it up, dickhead!
3270 Broadway
New York, NY
They’re Finally Gonna Cork That Pesky Volcano
Co-worker: Would you like a donut?
Enormous woman: No, thank you.
Co-worker: Why not? Are you on a diet or something?
Enormous woman: Actually, yes, I am on a diet. I am going on vacation to Hawaii at the end of the month and I have only six more pounds to lose until I reach my goal! I want to take a helicopter ride over Kilauea, but the helicopter company charges $100 more if you weigh more than 200 pounds. Hope they don’t weigh me on the spot since I am not sure I will be less than 200 pounds unless it’s in the morning, after I’ve had a pee, and I’m nude…Does anyone have any topics they’d like to add to the agenda for today?
Manager: Um…yeah, I do, but give me a minute.
560 McCarthy Boulevard
Milpitas, California
Overheard by: CW Slave
