Archive for the ‘Out to Lunch’ Category

Every Angelina Jolie Movie: Encapsulated.

30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I’m kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I’m thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you’re awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…

Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

You Can Pool Your Ignorance, but It Never Turns Into Milk

Male: No, I’m sure it said “buffalo mozzarella.“
Female #1: Well, I know mozzarella is made from cow’s milk.
Male: Maybe it’s from Buffalo, NY.
Female #1: Is that where mozzarella is from?
Male: Maybe.
Female #2: Is goat cheese made from goats?
Waitress: No, usually from the milk.

Seattle, Washington

NewsFlash: Woman Beaten to Death with Krullers. Ruled “Justifiable.”

Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What’s the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here’s thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I’m not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!

Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Heavy D