Coworker: I made a conscious effort not to wear any perfume today in case it was causing you to sneeze, so if I stink, it’s your fault.
Conversation disruptor: I love your stink.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Sneezy
Archive for the ‘Oregon’ Category
2PM Get Mail
Secretary: The mailman was supposed to come back today, but I haven’t seen him yet.
Agent: Which mailman was it? The old guy, or the nerdy guy with the glasses?
Secretary: No, it was an Asian guy.
Agent: Oh. He’s probably having lunch again.
1610 SE Bybee Boulevard
Portland, Orgeon
But He’s Gonna Die in There If You Don’t Keep Him Wet
Admin assistant: What do you mean you don’t have sex? You live with your boyfriend!
Receptionist: Yeah, once you have the fish in the boat, there’s no reason to keep throwing out the lure.
12th Street
Portland, Oregon
They Never Did, You Sick Poser
Tech: I wonder if Bert and Ernie still share a bed.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Which Isreally Palestine, Right?
Call center worker #1: How do you spell “real”?
Call center worker #2: Umm…I think it’s r‑a-e‑l.
Call center worker #1: Thanks…Are you sure? That doesn’t look quite right.
Call center worker #2: Yeah. Like Is. Is-rael. Isreal. Yeah!
26600 SW Parkway
Wilsonville, Oregon
Any Excuse to Tell That Story
Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, “How are you today?” I said, “Huh? Oh, I’m fine!” Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M‑16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.
Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon
For Some Reason, I Picture Debra Winger in This Role
Coworker: I’m lucky I wasn’t raised by my mother. I’d have turned out a total slut. She’d wear high heels to her job at the sawmill.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Innocent Bystander
Does It Matter That It’s a Black Car?
Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It’s going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.
Police Scanner
Oregon
Overheard by: Mike
But it Just Plays it on TV
Associate director, eating a hamburger: This is really good.
Executive director: Yeah, isn’t it? It’s their Angus burger. It’s like real meat.
Southern Oregon
Overheard by: research associate
From the Runaway Best Seller ‘Affirmations for Stupid People’
Manager, to himself: I am a ball of fire. I am a BALL OF FIRE.
Far reaches of Eugene, Oregon
