Office woman #1: You don't wanna eat butt?
Office woman #2: Not stinky butt!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Silent Assistant
Archive for the ‘Oregon’ Category
4PM Order New PCs
IT #1: I asked him if he was in the United States.
IT #2: I tell people if you want to buy a computer, call their support line. If you can’t stand the accent, don’t buy that computer.
1100 SW 6th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Tonight on Speed Racist
Employee #1: I need you to check this.
Employee #2: Why, because I'm Asian?
Employee #1: Aw, don't play the race card.
Employee #2: Oh, so now I'm a race car?
Tigard, Oregon
Not on My Watch
Insurance coordinator on phone: I received your mold report and just for future reference, “caulking” is not spelled “c-o-c-k-i-n-g.”
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Kanee
5PM That’s a Wrap
Voice on elevator emergency intercom: Hello? Hello?
Confused woman who just got on: Um…..yes?
Voice: Yes, I’m Karen* from American Express. Can I please speak with Shin Chen*?
Woman: Um…No… You just reached an elevator.
Voice: Oh! Well, thank you for using American Express. If you have any questions, please call 1-800-555-1234*. Thanks for using American Express and have a great day!
541 Willamette Street
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: the other passenger
Do We Even Sell That?
Peon: Barry*, did you put a folder on my computer called ‘Horse porn’?
Barry: No.
Beaverton, Oregon
Just to Be Safe, I Better Buy a Backup TV
Coworker: Bon jovi's on American Idol?! Good god, this calls for a new pack of batteries and the tv on in the bedroom!
Portland, Oregon
Sometimes You Can Feel All Meaning Evaporating Right Out of Your Head
Secretary: She said she’s having trouble with her desktop…
Manager: Her desktop or her laptop?
Secretary: Desktop.
Manager: So the one that sits on the desk, or the one that she can carry around with her?
Secretary: Yes.
Portland, Oregon
Not That We Were Expecting Bloody Geniuses
Client: I’ve talked to some of these people applying online. They’re a little scary — it’s not like they’re Menses candidates.
Portland, Oregon
Yeah, We Saw Your Coffee Mug, Sir.
Boss #1: We should really think about selling those apartments as condos.
Boss #2: Saying “condo” to a bank right now is like saying “cunt”
(stunned silence)
Boss #1: Personally, I kind of like the word “cunt.”
Meadows Road
Portland, Oregon