Employee: Fuck you very much for calling Blockbuster; how may I abuse you?…Oh, hi, Bill* [regional manager]…Yeah, today’s my last day.
Blockbuster
Del Mar, California
Overheard by: Petyr
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
If It Involves Your Bunions Again, I'm Hanging Up.
Coworker on phone: Ma'am, are you an owner with Melvin? I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. Again, ma'am, I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. We didn't even book your vaca…okay, fine. Tell me your little story.
Redmond, Washington
It Has Check Boxes and Fill-in Lines?
Employee on the phone: No, it's just… Well, it's a hermathodite (pause) No! The form, not me.
Ontario
Canadia
Not Improperly Sore, Like I Was in Prison
Manager on phone: How was my day off? Well, I'm properly sore now.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
The “Enter” Key's Somewhere Near the Middle Of Your Keyboard, Sir
Tech on phone: Please click start, type “cmd” and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type “cmd” and press the enter key. Typing “cmdandpressenter” will not work. Sorry I wasn't more clear.
Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: northern lad
Tell Him I Said “Hi, Dad”
Bald guy on phone: So who's the head on that? Okay. Hey, could you hold on a second? (covers receiver) Fuck! (rolls eyes) Okay, I'm back. So he's coming?
New York City, New York
Lyle’s Mistake Was Planning the 12-Days-of-Christmas Diorama from Memory
Co-worker on the phone: Really? And he had six donkeys?
1400 Lacey Boulevard
Hanford, California
Overheard by: suzanne
I Mean, What Kind Of Assistant Brings You a Mochaccino Instead Of a Skim Latte??
Sales rep on phone with customer: And then I spanked him and put him back inside. I was so mad at him!
Keene, New Hampshire
The Part Of Canadia's Healthcare They Don't Want Us to See
Agitated man on phone: Put him in the truck, put him in the truck! Just put him in the truck and drive somewhere!
Toronto
Canadia
It's a New Orleans Thing, Dear Reader
Operator setting up auto claim with customer on phone: Sir, I'm so sorry your car got stolen today. At least you babies and CDs are fine. I think you need to git you some whiskey to calm you down. Or just do what I do to calm myself down, cheer! “Who dat! Who dat! Who dat! Yayayayayaya! Who dat!”
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Wish I had my MP3 player today