…Pimple.

Mother on phone with family member: Look, you're going whether you want to or not. Just tell people it's a malignant.

Gaithersburg, Maryland

You Go, Boy

Intern on phone: I'm milking this teabag for all it's worth.

Chicago, Illinois

Then How About a Calzone?

Woman on phone: It’s like asking a rocket scientist to make a pizza–I just can’t do it!

707 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Ilya

I’ll Pipe Some Random Noises into Your Earpiece

Admin on speaker: Can I please have the Electronics department?
Sears rep: Okay, hold for a while.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Thanks, John

Elderly customer to account rep/receptionist: You are my favorite call girl.

Bourbonnais, Illinois

Michael Douglas Reprises His ‘Greed Is Good’ Speech From Wall Street

Broker on phone: Blame it on greed…Uh huh…No, I’m saying that greed is a well-known, widely accepted motivator, so just say it was greed. They’ll understand.

10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

When Auditors Give Pep Talks to Each Other

Coworker on phone: Well, tell her to bend over and hand you some KY.

Cartersville, Georgia

Overheard by: Shocked and Disturbed

…Mr. Gigantor

Salesmen on phone with client: I did steroids in college, so I understand where you're coming from.

Plymouth, Massachusetts

This Just In: Bon Jovi Fires Insurance Agent

Insurance agent on phone: Garbage? You said garbage? But if it’s garbage, why would you need to insure garbage??

East Little Creek Road
Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: kim

Pop Quiz: Which of These Statements Is True About Elvis?

Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.

1st Street
Los Angeles, California