Coworker on phone: Hi, may I speak to your moaner? I mean, “owner”?
Mustang, Oklahoma
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Dude, You Need to Improve Your Supply Chain Management
Coworker on phone: I don't want to know, dude. It's like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don't want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.
Boca Raton, Florida
But That’s “Mom” to You, Buddy
Manager, just after he finishes dialing phone: I’m calling ol’ big tits.
Female voice: Uh, hello?
Manager: Oh… Hi. Who is this?
Female voice, angrily: This is ‘big tits,’ apparently.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Though Sometimes I Do Hollow Them Out and Store My Weed in Them– Any Questions?
Not-so-smart office girl on phone: They think I read The Enquirer or something. I don't. I read people, I don't read books.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: hallokitty
1PM Conference Call
Call leader: Whoever has your phone on hold, please take us off hold. We can hear the music.
151 Major Reynolds Place
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: mba
…And We Know Times Are Tight…
Coworker on phone: Well, we do have backdoor service, but it's more expensive than our other services.
West Rutland, Vermont
The Texas Supreme Court Docket Has It All!
Office peon on phone: It’s got everything — sex toys, dumb people, oil companies…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: um, yeah
Some Employees Embrace Their Work More Than Others
Stressed office worker, picking up phone: Thank you for helping, may I hold you?
Greensboro, North Carolina
By French Standards, He Got an Obsequiously Polite Person on the Phone
Employee on phone with a French company: I’m sorry that you’re offended that I don’t speak French, sir…Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I speak English and Korean; I just don’t speak French. We have a great offer here. I think you’d like to hear about it, even in English…Well, if you’d like I can speak to you with what French I do know but I’m afraid it will only be “hello” and “yes” or “no.”…I’m sorry that you think my lack of French represents what’s wrong with America in general…
61 Broadway
New York, New York
It's What Jesus Would Do
Engineer on phone: Even skanky girls need love too. And I'm single, so I do my part to help.
Grayslake, Illinois