Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Archive for the ‘Oklahoma’ Category
2PM Review Candidates
Boss #1: We can use [Derek] as our field supervisor; he knows how to do the work.
Boss #2: Is he still a drunk?
Boss #1: Yeah. His wife left him.
Boss #2: He has always been a drinker.
Boss #1: So we’ll put him in charge of everything and he can run the crews. We’ll pay his expenses and give him the company truck.
Boss #2: Okay. Sounds good to me. Maybe stuff will start getting done now.
8221 NW Expressway Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
We’re a Federal Agency– So Yes
Boss: You’re not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
It’s Either That or Get One of Those Helper Monkeys
Editor #1: I have finger toes.
Photographer: You mean like long and bony?
Editor #1: Yeah, I can, like, pick stuff up with them.
Editor #2: Do you pinch people with them?
Editor #1: Yeah. I always pinch [my wife]. She hates it.
Editor #2: God is just preparing you for when you lose your arms.
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Career Tip: No Grillz in the Office, Dear Reader
Female suit #1: And after that, I told him that he can do whatever he wants, but in that case we are never kissing again.
Female suit #2: Some lines just shouldn’t be crossed.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Remex
I Don’t See Much Market for a Pants Cam, Though
Guy in cubicle on phone: Well, it feels like it’s about 3 or 4 inches up in there! No… No. Well, did you see the pictures? Because you can totally see it’s all the way up in there!
Oil Company
Tulsa, Oklahoma
And She Was So Smart for Figuring That Out
Girl: Did you notice the way their baby looked?
Guy: Um, yeah.
Girl: It’s because she didn’t do drugs or alcohol when she was pregnant. It makes a big difference, you know? That’s why the baby is so smart.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Then I Got to Thinking That Maybe I Am Julie and Don’t Know It
Co-Worker: Hello?
Voice on phone: Is Julie there?
Co-Worker: No. I’m sorry, but you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Co-Worker: No problem.
Phone immediately rings again.
Co-Worker: Listen, man, you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Are you sure this is your number? I checked, and this is the same number that my friend Julie gave me. Could you call your number and ask her to call me back?
Co-Worker: Sure, just as soon as I get off the phone with you. [Hangs up phone] Jackass.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Psh, Like That Matters
Secretary: Wait, don’t you have to be in the military to run for president?
Worker: No. I’ve taken karate in the past, so I get to skip that step.
Secretary: Oh… But do you really think you’d get enough votes?
5000 South Lewis Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Whoa Now
You’re in Luck– They’re the Same Guy!
Coworker on phone: Hi, may I speak to your moaner? I mean, “owner”?
Mustang, Oklahoma
