Sweet little old lady #1: Well, we didn’t know if we should spit or swallow.
Sweet little old lady #2: What did you do?
Sweet little old lady #1: I swallowed.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Sweet little old lady #1: Well, we didn’t know if we should spit or swallow.
Sweet little old lady #2: What did you do?
Sweet little old lady #1: I swallowed.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Lady peon: My husband’s doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I’m going to quit with him. [Later] I can’t wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won’t hurt him.
Columbiana, Ohio
Overheard by: ChatsMcGee
Employee to IT: So, I have to get my kid baptized, and I’ve been search the web all day. I find this site that says ‘Weddings and baptisms,’ so I open it up and — you guessed it — porn!
20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss to secretary: Where is Linda*? Call her, I need to evaluate her, but…
Secretary: That makes me nervous…
Sylvania, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Young mother pushing baby carriage to old woman holding door for her: Oh, thanks. I think about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs, but I think this is worse, because I always have so much to carry.
Kent, Ohio
Overheard by: elizabetz
Boss: You like that little tool, don’t you?
Worker: The keyboard? Yeah, it’s great.
Uniontown, Ohio
Boss: You shouldn’t keep your desk so clean.
Analyst: You want me to make a mess on my desk before I leave every night?
Boss: It’s a perception thing.
1 American Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Worker #1: Did you see the sign on the copier?
Worker #2: No, what did it say?
Worker #1: “Don’t Touch Craig”.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Volunteer #1: Man, Chipotle is so good, man!
Volunteer #2: Yeah, except it makes you have to go to the bathroom because of the hot sauce…
Volunteer #1: I’s okay, man, you just take a Game Boy into the bathroom with you. Kills like a half hour.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Admin: We’re going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I’d like to say that I’ll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I’m not going to say it.
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist