Archive for the ‘Office Politics’ Category

Why Simon Says is Only Fun in Kindergarten

Supervisor: Go to your computer and pull up the client file you showed me earlier, the one that was wrong. I need to show it to the IT people.
Worker: I can’t because I deleted it.
Supervisor: Why did you delete it?
Worker: Because you told me to.
Supervisor: Don’t do what I tell you! Do what I say.

Franklin Square
Springfield, Illinois

Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It

Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.

DWP
Bathgate
Scotland

Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron

Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?

Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jason B.