Archive for the ‘Office Politics’ Category

Why Sen­si­tiv­i­ty Train­ing Ex­ists

Boss: The in­cen­tive this month is: the per­son with the most ac­counts will get a steak din­ner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girl­friend or what­ev­er, you don’t have to eat alone, I’ll pay for them too.
Fe­male sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you’re a whore. I don’t know what else to tell you.

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Once I’m Fired, for In­stance

Cowork­er #1: So I have de­cid­ed that I’m on­ly go­ing to do work when the boss is in the of­fice.
Cowork­er #2: Ha­ha! That is so awe­some!
Cowork­er #1: I feel like it’s on­ly fair, if she is­n’t go­ing to be here work­ing, why should I work?
Cowork­er #2: I agree, she is the cap­tain of this ship, af­ter all.
Cowork­er #1: And, if I’m forced to do work, for ex­am­ple take a tele­phone call, I will doc­u­ment the time so that in the fu­ture I can make up that time back by not work­ing.

Wilkes-Barre, Penn­syl­va­nia

Does That Mean We Get to Kick You in the Groin?

Pe­on to fel­low cube-mates: What would hap­pen if no one ever reached their tar­get, but they just kept plac­ing it fur­ther and fur­ther away for the sake of “striv­ing for ex­cel­lence”? (pause) Sounds like you’re set­ting up your peo­ple for fail­ure. You ever watch Nin­ja War­rior? That show is the bomb. They have crazy, se­mi-im­pos­si­ble ob­sta­cle cours­es, and if a con­tes­tant pass­es all four stages, they win. The point is, no one is sup­posed to win! The ob­sta­cles get hard­er and hard­er to keep peo­ple from suc­ceed­ing, not to hope and pray that they win… You are all hon­orary nin­ja war­riors.

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Rio