Senior sales VP: I need to set apart a set amount of time every day so I'm not bothered. That's the time I need to be strategical.
Fort Myers, Florida
Archive for the ‘Office Politics’ Category
But This Is a Manure Company!
CSR #1, complaining about trainee: All this guy keeps saying is “I'm a senior engineer; I already know what I'm doing,” and flat out refuses to listen to what I'm telling him. I mean, it's just a title, guy. Stop being a dick.
CSR #2: Oh, yeah? Well I'm a customer service representative. I don't represent shit!
Chesapeake, Virginia
11AM Design Session
Designer: We can’t afford naked people. All of those photos are rights managed. So tomorrow I’m bringing in my digital camera.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
9AM Today’s Looking Up
Manager: Will you help him on this issue?
Buyer #1: I’d be happy to help him.
15 minutes pass.
Buyer #2: If you just don’t do your work, they won’t fire you; they’ll
just give it to somebody else.
6808 Lake Worth Boulevard
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Native Americans: Jeez, Even the Bigots Ignore Us!
CEO to new sales rep: Use your judgment when it comes to payment schedules. If they sound like good people — you know, like normal Americans on the phone — we’ll bill them. But Ay-rabs and Orientals pay COD. You have to watch those bastards, ’cause they’ll all fuck you.
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Overheard by: Really glad I gave notice yesterday
…Where's My Applause?
Female VP: I have about three nanoseconds to get to the washroom before everything goes very wrong down there. (later, walking back into the office, announces loudly) I made it!
Toronto
Canadia
Why Simon Says is Only Fun in Kindergarten
Supervisor: Go to your computer and pull up the client file you showed me earlier, the one that was wrong. I need to show it to the IT people.
Worker: I can’t because I deleted it.
Supervisor: Why did you delete it?
Worker: Because you told me to.
Supervisor: Don’t do what I tell you! Do what I say.
Franklin Square
Springfield, Illinois
Yeah, We Read Your Invitation on the Bulletin Board
Team leader: Tomorrow we're having sexual harassment training. (laughs) Jane, you can't touch Sophie.
Male coworker: They can touch me!
Melbourne, Florida
Though I Give My Body to Be Burned, It Profiteth Me Nothing
Customer service agent, ending phone call: Thank you for calling. Is there anything else you need to help us with today?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sars
Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland