Team leader: Tomorrow we're having sexual harassment training. (laughs) Jane, you can't touch Sophie.
Male coworker: They can touch me!
Melbourne, Florida
Archive for the ‘Office Politics’ Category
Though I Give My Body to Be Burned, It Profiteth Me Nothing
Customer service agent, ending phone call: Thank you for calling. Is there anything else you need to help us with today?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sars
Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland
…About the Church Social Next Wednesday
Office worker: Lemme forward you this e-mail from slave whore Ella*!
BDSM Production Company
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Joy
The Silver Lining
Assistant: Where are all the great shoe sales? I mean, after September 11th there were some great sales!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t believe she still works here
Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
4PM Smoke Break
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
You May Be Using It Right Now and Not Know It
Boss, giving presentation: Chances are most of you in this room may or may not use this form. (everyone nods)
Helena, Montana
Overheard by: second in command
Mr. Hefner's Getting Married Again
Lab manager: Well, we'll just keep the one with biggest rack.
Baltimore, Maryland
The Day the Company Springs for Phones, It'll Blow Their Minds.
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail