Archive for the ‘Office Politics’ Category

Does That Mean We Get to Kick You in the Groin?

Pe­on to fel­low cube-mates: What would hap­pen if no one ever reached their tar­get, but they just kept plac­ing it fur­ther and fur­ther away for the sake of “striv­ing for ex­cel­lence”? (pause) Sounds like you’re set­ting up your peo­ple for fail­ure. You ever watch Nin­ja War­rior? That show is the bomb. They have crazy, se­mi-im­pos­si­ble ob­sta­cle cours­es, and if a con­tes­tant pass­es all four stages, they win. The point is, no one is sup­posed to win! The ob­sta­cles get hard­er and hard­er to keep peo­ple from suc­ceed­ing, not to hope and pray that they win… You are all hon­orary nin­ja war­riors.

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Rio

I Sug­gest You Glue Your Ass to Your Own Chair

Of­fice drone #1: What’s a fun­nier prank — if I tape the the re­ceiv­er to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the draw­er?
Of­fice drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks point­ed­ly at re­turn­ing boss be­hind drone #1].
Of­fice drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her cof­fee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spew­ing!
Boss, stand­ing right be­hind drone #1: Bitch is be­hind you.

Har­ris Street
Pyr­mont, Syd­ney
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: get back to work!