Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

Oh, I Know You’re a Fan Of My Hard Candy?

Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don’t know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.

San Luis Obisbo, California

You Know Those Guys Whose Signal Keeps Breaking Up?

Marcoms manager: The new Bluetooth dongles are here.
VP of operations: Can I have a dongle?
Marcoms manager: You just like saying the word “dongle.“
VP of operations: Actually, I already have a dongle, it’s just not a Bluetooth one. (winks)
Marcoms manager: So you can’t use it from 33 feet away?
VP of operations: Nope. If I could, that would be like a Tyrannosaurus dongle!

Seattle, Washington

12PM Inventory

Employee: Hey, I have an open hour today. Is there anything you need?
Supervisor #1: Um, yeah. One of the ceiling tiles broke, and they don’t make that type anymore, and in order to get an estimate redoing all the ceiling tiles, I need you to go around and count them.
Supervisor #2: Yeah…but in the corners: you know how they aren’t full tiles? You need to measure them and figure out what percentage of a full tile it is. You know, so we can get an accurate assessment. 

30 minutes go by.

Supervisor #1: Are you seriously counting all of those tiles?
Employee: Yeah, why? Oh, man. Fuck you guys.

11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Bronxie