Office West Virginian: I need more samples! Does anyone know when Bill is making more samples?!
Office wise guy: Uh, Bill, maybe?
Office West Virginian: No, I already asked him and he doesn’t know.
W. Market Street
Greensboro, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
Preferably Sugar-Free
Office lady: Does anyone have any gum? I really need something in my mouth right now.
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: JWall
Um, Yeah, I Saw the YouTube Video.
Sales guy #1: Wanna go across the street to the deli for lunch? I hear they make a mean BLT.
Sales guy #2: They're expensive.
Sales guy #1: Dude… I'm so frekkin rich I wipe my ass with dollar bills.
Seattle, Washington
But You Have to Promise to Only Use the Pizza for Good
Woman: Can you put green peppers and mushrooms on one half and pepperoni on the other?
Pizza Hut guy: Yes, we have the technology to do that.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Truly amazing
The “Don't Ask? Do Tell!” Policy
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.
Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor
P.S. – Sally the Clown Sounds Hot
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
So the Rumors Are True?
Female coworker #1: Do you want half of my bagel?
Female coworker #2: Sure, thanks.
Female coworker #1: Okay, you can have the top.
Female coworker #2: Yay! I really like the top.
Female coworker #1: That's good. I really like the bottom.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: cizzle
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker #1: I really need to do Yoga again.
Co-worker #2: Do you want my Yoga tapes? I don’t do it anymore, because my dog just won’t leave me alone when I’m down on all fours.
57 East Green Street
Champaign, Illinois
Does It Matter That They're Sexual Harassment Complaint Files?
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Okay, People, You Are to Cease Using the Austin Powers Films in Management Training
Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.
Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan
Overheard by: R U Shittin’ Me