Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.
1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
By Loudly Reading Out Calorie Counts
Case manager #1: We need to go to McDonald's.
Case manager #2: What are we gonna get?
Case manager #1: No, just to scare the kids.
San Antonio, Texas
I'm Slightly Nauseated, but Intrigued
Drone to another: I have something that may tie up your loose end.
Kansas City, Missouri
Never Hire Anyone Who Shows Up to the Interview in a Medieval Tunic
Colleague, brandishing roll of Fablon: Play with me, it's fun. Oh, go on, sword me!
London
England
The Personal Is Political
Woman #1: Your boss asked you to be sure to attend the company party at a strip club!?
Woman #2: Yeah, what’s so bad about that?
Woman #1: Well, you’re going to be surrounded by naked, gyrating ladies, and that’s sexist and outrageous!
Woman #2: Really? I was looking forward to seeing my sister.
630 East Lake
Chicago, Illinois
The Guy at the Burrito Counter Winked at Me, and I Lost All Control
Frustrated supervisor to quitting employee: And I'll need your password for your computer. Why don't you just give me that now?
Employee, mumbling: It's “Latinomneeee.”
Supervisor: Did you say “Latino E”? I couldn't understand you.
Employee: No, it's “Latino heat.”
(awkward silence)
Employee: I guess I was feeling a little frisky that day.
Bushwick
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ap
Tell Him Something New, and There Goes Another Childhood Memory
Marketing director: Don't you remember that we already tried that approach?
Hotel manager: I'm sorry. My brain is full.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JM
What Do You Have to Do Around Here to Get Some Freaking Champagne?!
Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: I’m looking for a red wine.
Employee: Cabernet, pinot noir, shiraz?
Customer: No, I want a red wine.
1017 East Main Street
Radford, Virginia
How to Get a Room Full Of People Focused on the Same Goal
Project manager: Can you look over a doc for me?
Engineer #1: Not right now. I'm reading about bestiality.
Engineer #2: What? Dude… Share the link!
Engineers #3 and #4: Yeah!
Alpharetta, Georgia
The Aisles Only Go Up to 13.
Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.
Victor, New York
Overheard by: Yikes!