General manager: I told you to respect your boss. I didn’t tell you to obey her orders.
230 North College Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
At a Ren Faire, Definitely
Security guard: This guy comes in with an orange juice bottle of vodka every morning! Gimme a shot of that!
Nerdy office worker: Do you really think I look like an alchie? An alchemist, maybe…
Manhattan, New York
You Don't Bring Me Problems, You Bring Me Shooters!
Intern #1: I need to talk to you, there is an issue with a drop-down menu.
Boss: You are like the problem child I never wanted!
Intern #2: What about me?
Boss: You know a lot about alcohol.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Disingenuousness Is Part Of My Professional Persona
Receptionist, on phone: Ocean View* Escrow
Processor: Darlene* please.
Receptionist: She’s on the other line. Would you like to hold?
Processor: I’d love to.
Receptionist: Really?
Processor: Not big on sarcasm, are you?
1950 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Matt
Are You Sure You Don’t Mean Joseph Smith?
Voice over loudspeaker: John Smith, please report to baggage claim to meet your wife and girlfriend. John Smith to baggage claim, meet your wife and girlfriend.
Oakland Airport
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Meg
10AM Order Book
Our sister site has been collected into Overheard in New York, the book. It’s a collection of the hilarious and horrendous material from the site, as well as a bunch of stuff we saved just for the book.
It’s perfect reading for the commute to the office, and a great way to kill time from 9 to 5. You can order it here.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
But It's Not Friday Yet.
Waiter: There's a fly buzzing around. I kept him off your food.
Manager: Ah, it doesn't matter. Nobody ever died from that.
Waiter: Nobody ever died from licking my balls, either. You want to come over here and do that?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
10AM Work on Prints
Engineer: How much longer will you be using those prints?
Safety Manager: Five minutes.
Engineer: What if I borrow them for three minutes and then give them back to you?
Safety Manager: I’d say yes, but you won’t give them back in three minutes. So, no, you can’t borrow them.
Engineer: You’re so much like your dad, it’s not even funny.
186 Gilman Avenue
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Shannon
Sorry, the Clown Suit Keeps Throwing Me Off
Lead animator: Quit goofing off!
Animator: I’m not.
Lead animator: I said no goofing off! Get to work!
Animator: I am working.
Lead animator, hitting animator with poster: No talking! Get to work!
Animator: I am working!
Lead animator: [Picks up computer mouse, and throws it across the desk.] Get to work! No talking!
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Overheard by: pretty picture guy
2PM Double Team Meeting
VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.
8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sam Racadabra