Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

10AM Order Book

Our sister site has been collected into Overheard in New York, the book. It’s a collection of the hilarious and horrendous material from the site, as well as a bunch of stuff we saved just for the book. It’s perfect reading for the commute to the office, and a great way to kill time from 9 to 5. You can order it here. 375 Hudson Street
New York, NY

Dude, You’re Not Getting That Dell!

Customer: Yeah, like I need to get this purchase authorized for school supplies and stuff.
CSR: Yes, sir. Can you tell me the primary cardholder’s name?
Customer: Yeah, that would be me. My name is on the card.
CSR: No sir, you are on the account. I need the primary cardholder; is he available?
Customer: No, he is in Florida or Georgia or something. Dude call my Dad, he can tell you all about it.
CSR: I need to ask you some security questions first. Do you know the primary cardholder’s date of birth?
Customer: Uh, dude, this really sucks…I can’t remember his birthday…Dude that’s pretty sad I don’t even know my father’s birthday.
CSR: OK, sir can you give me the last 4 digits of the social security number on the account for the primary cardholder.
Customer: Dude, are you kidding? I will tell you anything about me that you want to know I just want to get this stuff going, y’know?
CSR: Sir, can you hold?
Customer: Sure. 2 minutes pass. CSR: OK sir, I have blocked the card. Please inform your father that he will need to give us a call to take the block off the card.
Customer. Dude, this fucking sucks. I have any information you need about me, why can’t you call my dad?
CSR: I am not calling your dad sir, please inform him that he will need to give us a call to have the block taken off the card.
Customer: Dude you are really starting to piss me off, dude.
CSR: Sir you can’t verify any of the security questions, and I can’t approve this transaction.
Customer: …Dude call my dad! He will give you anything you want to know.
CSR: I am not calling your dad, sir.
Customer: Dude, you have so just lost 4 accounts! 3615 Brotherton Road
Cincinnati, Ohio

3PM Coffee Break

Worker #1: How are you feeling? Coming down with anything?
Worker #2: No, but it seems like everyone else is.
Worker #1: If you get sick, I’m a doctor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a degree in Back Stabbing, Cork-Screwing, and Double-Dealing 2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri

Tell You What — Half Price for You. You Can Give the Six Dollars to Me

Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars. Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota

Sometimes I Find Myself Accidentally Throwing Rocks at Them

Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua–that's racist. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn't racism–it's a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn't theirs isn't racist. You shouldn't be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you're right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I'm racist against fat people even though I don't mean to be. Duluth, Georgia