Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category

Would­n’t Stop Dri­ving My Hot Rod Lin­coln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the pass­word to see it on­line. So, I need to know how much it is.
Em­ploy­ee: You can’t pay it with­out his au­tho­riza­tion. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t au­tho­rize any­thing, he’s in­car­cer­at­ed.
Em­ploy­ee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obit­u­ary or the death cer­tifi­cate.
Woman: What? He’s in­car­cer­at­ed! [pause] He’s in jail.
Em­ploy­ee: Oh.

Fred­er­ick, Mary­land

4PM Fi­nal­ize Con­tracts with New Ac­count

Ven­dor: Hey, can you do me a huge fa­vor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Ven­dor: I am try­ing to land this ac­count, and the guy won’t sign with me un­less you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not go­ing to sleep with him! Wait a sec­ond, is he cute? Does he have lots of mon­ey?
Ven­dor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.

3663 S. Las Ve­gas Boule­vard
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: Rick