Nurse: Thanks for taking out the trash. I’ve been a nurse for so long I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. You could roll in roadkill and I wouldn’t notice.
15001 Quivira Road
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: Naomi
Archive for the ‘Nurses’ Category
I Watch It Through a Hole in My Bible
Nurse to another: Do you watch the show where all the scientists live together? Oh you don't watch tv at night? That's show's ungodly sinful… But I do like Six Feet Under.
University of Kentucky Hospital
Lexington, Kentucky
No, That’s Question #15
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
I Left My Undies Down Under
Nurse: Where are your pants [Tobias]?
AlcoHobo: I must have forgotten to put them on before I left the house.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
When You Fall Over, There’s a Lot of Quacking and Pecking
Receptionist: I have great news!
Nurse: What?
Receptionist: I got accepted into grad school! But I’m scared.
Nurse: Why?
Receptionist: I haven’t been in school in a long time.
Nurse: You’ll be fine — it’s like falling off a duck’s back.
1917 20th Street South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eavesdropping grad student
Dred Scott!
Aggravated nurse, complaining about slave monitor malfunction: Can someone come help me with this goddamn thing again?
Helpful, tech-savvy male nurse: What's the matter?
Aggravated nurse: My slave is black!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Speechless, blinking….
Her Poop?
Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!
Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lauren
9AM Back to Work
Nurse: Is that a paper clip in your hair?
Receptionist: Yeah, I couldn’t find a bobby pin
Nurse: God, you’re such a secretary.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: killerboots
Only the Ones With Hearing Aids
Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.
Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you’re a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.
694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio
It’s Just a Little Excited, That’s All
Nurse #1: Well, then what in the hell is the difference between a threesome and a gangbang? Are there specific rules?
Nurse #2: I guess… I tried it with my boyfriend and my roommate once…
Sickly patient: Excuse me… Is my IV supposed to be leaking?
Emergency Room
St. Louis, Missouri