Archive for the ‘Nurses’ Category

It’s Just a Little Excited, That’s All

Nurse #1: Well, then what in the hell is the difference between a threesome and a gangbang? Are there specific rules?
Nurse #2: I guess… I tried it with my boyfriend and my roommate once…
Sickly patient: Excuse me… Is my IV supposed to be leaking?

Emergency Room
St. Louis, Missouri

Remember When We Accidentally Took Out the Wrong Colon? Oh, We Laughed!

[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.

Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia

For Him, That's Still Pretty Good

Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!

Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York

Clears That Cancer Right Up

Nurse: People just keep calling me and calling me about getting pain pills called in. They just need to be a little sauced up — then they’d be fine!

14100 Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Dred Scott!

Aggravated nurse, complaining about slave monitor malfunction: Can someone come help me with this goddamn thing again?
Helpful, tech-savvy male nurse: What's the matter?
Aggravated nurse: My slave is black!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Speechless, blinking….