Female coworker: What is it about me that says “oh, she'll be fine in prison?”
Raleigh, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category
12PM Reserve Car
Coworker #1: Are these car rental coupons good in Hawaii?
Coworker #2: I dunno, it says it’s good in the United States.
Coworker #1: Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #2: Hey, is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #3: …What? Are you serious?
Coworker #2: Yeah, you know, like is Canada part of the US?
Coworker #3: Canada is a completely different country.
Coworker #2: I asked you about Hawaii you fool!
120 Providence Road
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Actually, They All Lived Together…
Employee: The first time it was with my friend– no, wait, my ex-friend. Then the second time it was with my boyfriend. Then I went over to my other boyfriend’s house…
Fast food joint
Durham, North Carolina
It’s Amazing He Can Be Such a Good Lawyer, Despite Being Blind
Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.”
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
Some Employees Embrace Their Work More Than Others
Stressed office worker, picking up phone: Thank you for helping, may I hold you?
Greensboro, North Carolina
Apparently “Make Stuffing” Is an Arcane Insult in North Carolina
(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.
Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Without a Quorum No Meeting Can Break Out
Worker bee #1 walking up to group of coworkers: Hey, here’s two of the people I’m looking for.
Worker bee #2: Scatter!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
You Celebrate Your Way, I’ll Celebrate Mine
Worker: What are those [paper bags with names on them]?
Boss: They’re for the holocaust thing today. … um, we’re remembering the holocaust, we’re not having another one.
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
How Was Your Staff Meeting?
Female talking to male co-worker: It was like something out of a V.C. Andrews novel. The one where the brother and sister were locked in the attic and were fucking each other.
Congress Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Frank