Performance Review Time at the CIA

General manager: I told you to respect your boss. I didn’t tell you to obey her orders.

230 North College Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Without a Quorum No Meeting Can Break Out

Worker bee #1 walking up to group of coworkers: Hey, here’s two of the people I’m looking for.
Worker bee #2: Scatter!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Just the Sort of Argument a Hair Lawyer Would Make

Hair stylist: What do you do for a living? You look like a lawyer.
Customer: Actually, I’m a doctor.
Hair stylist: Well, that’s a kind of a lawyer.

Cloverdale Plaza
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Barry: Can I Get Up Now?

Admin assistant: Don’t worry, I’m on top of Barry*.
Sales assistant: … What was that?
Admin assistant: I’m on top of… Shut up!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

3PM Coffee Break

Sports editor: I think you need to apologize for that.
Opinion editor: Okay, but you need to meet me halfway. I’m sorry for hitting you, but you need to apologize for existing.

5211 Old Charlotte Highway
Monroe, North Carolina

My Escalatude Will Be Mighty!

Angry suit: If you can’t get this done I’m gonna escalate it! I don’t know to whom, or how, but I’m gonna escalate it!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Good Luck With That

Time to Consult the Oracle?

Office West Virginian: I need more samples! Does anyone know when Bill is making more samples?!
Office wise guy: Uh, Bill, maybe?
Office West Virginian: No, I already asked him and he doesn’t know.

W. Market Street
Greensboro, North Carolina

I Mean, It's Critical That the Lady Finishes

Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…

Cary, North Carolina

And My PayPal Account Is Empty

Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)

High Point, North Carolina

The Law's a Cruel Mistress, Betsy

Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.

Asheville, North Carolina