White guy: …it’s just off the hook indeed.
120 Morehead Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category
Good to Know
Coworker #1: Okay, if you're 60 years old, why are you still smoking pot?
Coworker #2: There's no age limit on letting the good times roll.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Indoor Rain Usually Means the Sprinkler System Went Off
Manager entering office: It's raining pretty heavy.
Woman: Outside?
Manager, staring blankly for several seconds: Uh… yeah.
North Carolina
Overheard by: Seriously?
You Also Gotta Refrain From Calling it ‘The Gerbil’
Sales guy #1: You’re nasty!
Sales guy #2: I’m not the one that took the pictures on that site.
Sales guy #1: I’m not the one that’s talking about shaving my gerbil!
Sales guy #2: Oooh… You gotta shave the gerbil. You GOTTA.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Your Tattoo Of the Clock with No Hands, Maybe?
Female coworker: What is it about me that says “oh, she'll be fine in prison?”
Raleigh, North Carolina
12PM Reserve Car
Coworker #1: Are these car rental coupons good in Hawaii?
Coworker #2: I dunno, it says it’s good in the United States.
Coworker #1: Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #2: Hey, is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #3: …What? Are you serious?
Coworker #2: Yeah, you know, like is Canada part of the US?
Coworker #3: Canada is a completely different country.
Coworker #2: I asked you about Hawaii you fool!
120 Providence Road
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Actually, They All Lived Together…
Employee: The first time it was with my friend– no, wait, my ex-friend. Then the second time it was with my boyfriend. Then I went over to my other boyfriend’s house…
Fast food joint
Durham, North Carolina
It’s Amazing He Can Be Such a Good Lawyer, Despite Being Blind
Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.”
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
Some Employees Embrace Their Work More Than Others
Stressed office worker, picking up phone: Thank you for helping, may I hold you?
Greensboro, North Carolina