Archive for the ‘North Carolina’ Category

Clear and Yel­low­ish? Sounds Sus­pi­cious to Me.

Of­fice girl #1: Where were you yes­ter­day!
Of­fice girl #2: I was sick, sor­ry.
Of­fice girl #1: Sick with what?
Of­fice girl #2: Head cold… My nose was run­ning re­al­ly bad.
Of­fice girl #1: Oh, yeah? What col­or was the snot?
Of­fice girl #2: Um­mm… Clear-yel­low­ish-like.
Of­fice girl #1: No in­fec­tion — you could have come in!

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Why would she an­swer that??

Mar­ti­na Navratilo­va in­ad­ver­tent­ly re­veals the se­cret of her suc­cess

Girl: Yeah, so I have to go buy this see-through tank top and a see-through skirt for ten­nis. It’s so stu­pid. And I will have to wear an­oth­er tank top un­der­neath my see-through tank top and some shorts to cov­er up my balls–I mean… [laughs re­al­ly hard]

Ca­reer Cen­ter
Win­ston-Salem, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: not-so-smart asian.

2PM Fol­low Up with HR

Sec­re­tary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the fam­i­ly you au­to­mat­i­cal­ly get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the pro­to­col. You can have days off, but they’re just reg­u­lar PTO.
Sec­re­tary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re au­to­mat­ic if you have a death in the fam­i­ly.
Nurse: No, it’s like any oth­er PTO, you have to have them ap­proved by your su­per­vi­sor.
Sec­re­tary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a fam­i­ly death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every su­per­vi­sor would be hap­py to quick­ly ap­prove your PTO if some­one dies.
Sec­re­tary: Yeah, but I swear I read some­where that you get two days au­to­mat­i­cal­ly for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that some­where.

Med­ical Cen­ter Boule­vard
Win­ston-Salem, North Car­oli­na

I’d Like to Buy a New Pol­i­cy, and Then Can­cel It

Cus­tomer: Why did my pol­i­cy can­cel?
Sec­re­tary: For non-pay­ment, sir.
Cus­tomer: But I nev­er got a bill.
Sec­re­tary: You mean, the one you hand­ed me when you walked in with a due date of Jan­u­ary 30th*?
Cus­tomer: Yes, that bill.
Sec­re­tary: It would­n’t have can­celed if you had paid this bill, sir.
Cus­tomer: Well, I’m not go­ing to re­new that pol­i­cy, then…
Sec­re­tary: There is noth­ing to re­new, sir — it can­celed for non-pay­ment!

977 Yad­kinville Road
Mocksville, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Karen

He Got 500 Hours as Pun­ish­ment for Hav­ing Lisa Marie

Of­fice girl: My mom said she al­most wrecked her car the oth­er day be­cause she was watch­ing Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was pick­ing up trash in his jump­suit, right there on the side of the road.
Of­fice guy: Elvis was do­ing a lit­tle com­mu­ni­ty ser­vice, was he?

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Weigh It, and Sub­tract the Weight of an Emp­ty Bot­tle

Cus­tomer: These new la­bels are aw­ful. Just aw­ful! Why did you change them? I hate them.
Phar­ma­cist: I’m sor­ry, sir, but I don’t have any con­trol over the la­bels.
Cus­tomer: They don’t even tell me when it’s time to re­fill my ‘scrip­tion. When am I sup­posed to re­fill my ‘scrip­tion?
Phar­ma­cist: … When you run out of med­ica­tion, sir.
Cus­tomer: Well, how in the hell am I sup­posed to know that?

High Point, North Car­oli­na