Barry: Can I Get Up Now?

Admin assistant: Don’t worry, I’m on top of Barry*.
Sales assistant: … What was that?
Admin assistant: I’m on top of… Shut up!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

3PM Coffee Break

Sports editor: I think you need to apologize for that.
Opinion editor: Okay, but you need to meet me halfway. I’m sorry for hitting you, but you need to apologize for existing.

5211 Old Charlotte Highway
Monroe, North Carolina

My Escalatude Will Be Mighty!

Angry suit: If you can’t get this done I’m gonna escalate it! I don’t know to whom, or how, but I’m gonna escalate it!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Good Luck With That

Time to Consult the Oracle?

Office West Virginian: I need more samples! Does anyone know when Bill is making more samples?!
Office wise guy: Uh, Bill, maybe?
Office West Virginian: No, I already asked him and he doesn’t know.

W. Market Street
Greensboro, North Carolina

I Mean, It's Critical That the Lady Finishes

Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…

Cary, North Carolina

And My PayPal Account Is Empty

Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)

High Point, North Carolina

The Law's a Cruel Mistress, Betsy

Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.

Asheville, North Carolina

Marketing: Speaking Your Customers’ Language

White guy: …it’s just off the hook indeed.

120 Morehead Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Good to Know

Coworker #1: Okay, if you're 60 years old, why are you still smoking pot?
Coworker #2: There's no age limit on letting the good times roll.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Indoor Rain Usually Means the Sprinkler System Went Off

Manager entering office: It's raining pretty heavy.
Woman: Outside?
Manager, staring blankly for several seconds: Uh… yeah.

North Carolina

Overheard by: Seriously?