Employee #1: There’s a drunk guy outside who wants to know if we’re hiring any laborers.
Employee #2: Does he have a valid driver’s license?
1201 Yorkship Square
Camden, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category
The Wet Look Never Goes Out Of Style in New Jersey
CSR on cell, laughing: So you got a wet belly instead of a wet butt?
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Teens Really Should Be Cleaning That Up Themselves
Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!
Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not getting any either
Goodness, Mr. Lay, Your Firm’s Financial Report Certainly Is Heavy!
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
2PM Proofing White Paper
Suit: How do you spell “dyslexia”? I keep mixing up the letters.
3 Second Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Introducing the 2006 Pro-Life Poster Gal
Woman #1: I’m pregnant again.
Woman #2: On purpose?
Woman #3, sighing: I need a rest from all these ass-wipes that work here. I need a little hospital- and daytime TV R and R.
Montvale, New Jersey
And Really, How Many Impalements Are You Gonna Do in a Year?
Loud coworker on phone: Well, there you go! … Except that they’re not metal spikes anymore, that’s not a bad idea.
50 Millstone Road
East Windsor, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wondering what they turned into
…Unless That’s the Landscaping Look You’re Going for
Coworker on phone: No, you can’t let Stan do that! If he uses that bulldozer in your yard it’ll look like some blind guy with his head between his ass.
Columbia, New Jersey
Those People Who Parachuted Must Be Kicking Themselves
Captain of flight: Good news, folks! We found the airport!
Flight over Newark, New Jersey
Exactly the Kind of Dirty Work You Avoid on Vacation
Woman #1: How was your vacation?
Woman #2: Great!
Woman #3: You look great! Did you have fun?
Woman #2: Lots of sex, no kids, and lots of beach time.
Woman #1: You have sex on vacation?
Bergen, New Jersey
