Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category

Also Cleans Up Easier Than Motor Oil

Hairdresser: Oh, by the way, thanks for the tip about the Astroglide — it’s awesome! Client: Oh, you finally got some? And you love it?!
Hairdresser: Love it? I had to tell Paul* I saw an ad in Cosmo, or he’d know I was talking about our sex life at work.
Client: So, it’s cool, right? And doesn’t dry up, right?
Hairdresser: Listen, it makes him forget he’s a New York police officer — totally awesome!

Hillsdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: Receptionist

Or at Least the Part He’s Kissing

Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!

Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Patiently Waiting

4PM Buy New Fax

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

The Correct Answer Is “Not at All”

Excited peon #1: Hey, did you know that Anna Nicole Smith died, like, months ago?!
Excited peon #2: Wow! Really? She’s the one that lost all that weight, right?
Excited peon #1: Yeah! How’d you like to be the medical examiner doing that autopsy?

480 Washington Boulevard
New Jersey