Archive for the ‘Nevada’ Category

Um, Isn’t That Why Bob Left in the First Place?

Woman #1: The classified logo scripts aren’t working.
Woman #2: Bob* is working on them, but he’s going on vacation tomorrow so the scripts won’t be done until September.
Woman #1: September?!
Woman #2: Yeah, well, you can have IT work on it, but then who knows how long it’ll be before they get around to doing it.
Woman #1: Think they’d do it faster if I showed them my boobs?

1111 West Bonanza Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

10AM Visit Construction Site

Receptionist: What’s that?
Worker: It’s the Phoenix Project logo.
Receptionist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Manager #1: You have got to be kidding?
Receptionist: What?
Manager #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hello?
Receptionist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Receptionist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, also, a mythological bird.
Receptionist: Named after the city?

10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada

Have You Considered Not Sleeping?

Teacher: Explain that to me again.
Parent: I just don’t gets it. I’s lay with a man, and he gets me pregnant.
Teacher: Are you serious?
Parent: Look, bitch, I gots me seven kids, and I don’t know where they be comin’ from. You gots to help me. I goes to sleep, and then I’s wake up pregnant.
Teacher: Look, I’m referring you to the counselor. This is out of my hands.
Parent: Bitch, that ain’t gonna help!
Teacher: Look, I don’t have a direct line with Jesus to help you out, so the counselor is the next best thing. Got that, bitch?

School
Las Vegas, Nevada

2PM Facilities Issues

HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care! 

4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal

4PM Finalize Contracts with New Account

Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.

3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Rick