Reporter: Dude, her tweets were all over my site. And they weren’t even relevant!
Palo Alto, California
Archive for the ‘Nerds and Geeks’ Category
If Only Human Beings Spoke HTML
IT techie working on networking junk: Uh-oh. I ain’t communicatin’ good.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: I noticed…
Now That We’ve Bathed and Bedded You
Cashier, handing customer a receipt: And here’s a memento of our time together.
Bed, Bath, and Beyond
Jacksonville, Florida
Like Bathing in Christian Dior’s Saliva
Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?
Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?
Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s like time stands still and you know you’ve just gotten the gold.
Agent #2: Yeah. It’s a religious experience.
Agent #1: Completely. Completely religious.
Outside DNA modeling agency, 5th Avenue
New York, New York
10AM Programming Update
Engineer #1: You don’t understand…the program’s got unresolved
symbols that won’t work.
Engineer#2: Yeah, I got 2 unresolved symbols for you right here.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
9AM Client Call
VP Research on phone: Look, I understand you think your project numbers are important, but we have data to suggest you don’t need to know them.
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Presenting: The Nerdiest Coversation Ever Held
Engineer #1: A charred, dark husk of evil smoldering into infinity would be cool.
Engineer #2: I’d prefer the Dyson Sphere. Though I personally find Niven ringworlds much more aesthetically pleasing.
Engineer #1: But a husk!
Engineer #2: A Dyson sphere could be kind of a husk.
Engineer #1: Come on! Spooky husk!
Engineer #2: No! No spooky husk!
Engineer #1: Aww.
Engineer #2: …We can make the Dyson Sphere kind of spooky if you insist.
401 Elliott Avenue W
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bjorn Townsend
A Lightsaber Wears Out Fast When You Play With It All Night
30-something IT geek: Don’t worry, you can always buy replacement and upgrade parts for your lightsaber!
20-something IT geek: Good! I was worried that I’d need to build a new one.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Noxi
You Describe Your Social Life in Such Vivid Terms
Programmer: Cause of death… Amazing coding!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Pastriform Encephalopathy
Tech #1: I’m starving. I should live off of my excess fat, like a doughboy.
Tech #2: I’ve never seen the Pillsbury Doughboy eat. He’s always right by food but never takes any.
Tech #1: Exactly… Hey, do you think if he ate a biscuit he would get the doughboy version of mad cow?
109 T.W. Alexander Drive
Durham, North Carolina
