Archive for the ‘Names’ Category

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don’t you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don’t you think Frank should get a haircut?“
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn’t said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.


Overheard by: Who’s Frank?

…And Rated on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating

Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.

Loyola Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

After Which We Often Have Intercourse

Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.
Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?
Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.

Amarillo, Texas

Overheard by: Jeremy

Doesn’t Explain Why Julia Roberts Looks Like That

Coworker #1: Have you ever seen “The Hills Have Eyes”?
Coworker #2: Nah, I don’t like horror movies about mutants.
Coworker #1: They’re not mutants. Okay, they like live in this town where the government did like nuclear testing and it…
Coworker #2: Turned them into mutants.
Coworker #1: Well I guess… Based on how you define mutant.
Coworker #2: Someone who is changed or ‘mutated’ by radioactive material… Mutant.
Coworker #1: Yeah? well they all lived in this town where they were doing testing.
Coworker #3: Oh yeah. I saw that one. It gets into the water supply and there’s like a big lawsuit!
Coworker #2: No dude, that’s “Erin Brockovich“
Coworker #3: Oh. Yeah.

E Golf Rd
Schaumburg, Illinois

Overheard by: Emily