CSR to customer, on phone: Forgive me, there’s going to be a lot of Johnsons.
Golden, Colorado
Overheard by: Maho
Archive for the ‘Names’ Category
I’m Databasing. Are You Databasing?
Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I’m in you.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: a little small
Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake
Managing director: Don’t you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don’t you think Frank should get a haircut?“
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn’t said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.
London
England
Overheard by: Who’s Frank?
Maybe We Should Do Work at Some Point?
Male coworker: Who was the other guy in CHIPS? Not Erik Estrada, the other one.
Female coworker: It was officer Johnathan Baker and… Arthur Poncharelli?
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: James Logan
…To an Israeli Customer?
Cube dweller #1, on phone: “Yes, “h” as in “Hitler.“
Cube dweller #2: Wow… Did he really just say that?
Kansas City, Missouri
…And Rated on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.
Loyola Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Why Are You Giggling, Sir?
Social worker on the phone: No sir, the hospital does not offer financial assistance for penile prosthesis. Well, have you spoken with Dr. Wang in the erectile dysfunction clinic?
Holcombe & Bertner
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Just the Secretary
Probably for Historical Reasons
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
After Which We Often Have Intercourse
Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.
Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?
Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Doesn’t Explain Why Julia Roberts Looks Like That
Coworker #1: Have you ever seen “The Hills Have Eyes”?
Coworker #2: Nah, I don’t like horror movies about mutants.
Coworker #1: They’re not mutants. Okay, they like live in this town where the government did like nuclear testing and it…
Coworker #2: Turned them into mutants.
Coworker #1: Well I guess… Based on how you define mutant.
Coworker #2: Someone who is changed or ‘mutated’ by radioactive material… Mutant.
Coworker #1: Yeah? well they all lived in this town where they were doing testing.
Coworker #3: Oh yeah. I saw that one. It gets into the water supply and there’s like a big lawsuit!
Coworker #2: No dude, that’s “Erin Brockovich“
Coworker #3: Oh. Yeah.
E Golf Rd
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
