Coworker: It’s like looking at livestock. Bull walks by? Oh, it’s a bull. Cow walks by? Oh, it’s a cow. Lady Gaga walks by? Oh, it’s Lady Gaga without her pants again!
Australia
Archive for the ‘Music’ Category
It Sounds Like a Delicious Cocktail
Girl #1: Do you like Carly Simon?
Girl #2: I don’t know what that is.
Canal and Broadway
New York City, New York
I Used to Call Them “The G Spot,” But Everyone on Staff Got Confused
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I’m doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why’s that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
Therefore Doubly Exempt from Knowledge of Your Crappy Music
Older cube dweller: That was the title of a great Rascals song. Have you heard of The Rascals?
Younger cube dweller: No, I’m young. And foreign.
Troy, New York
Even Telling the Truth About It Nauseates Me
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Sit Tight– This Conversation Could Go on All. Friggin. Day.
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Yours Is the “Lollipop Guild” Song, for No Reason Whatsoever
Cube rat #1: Oh, I love that ringtone! That’s from Wizard of Oz, isn’t it?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead is my favorite song in that whole movie.
Cube rat #1: Who called?
Cube rat #2: My mother-in-law.
Cube rat #1, lauhging: Got any others?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, I’ve got If I Only Had a Brain on there, too.
Cube rat #1: Who’s that one for?
Cube rat #2: My boss.
Bossier City, Louisiana
What’s Less Cute Than a Man Who Used to Be a Cute Boy?
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don’t think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He’ll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
The Picture Says It All, Dear Reader
Cubicle mate: When he sings “My Corona,” is he talking about his beer? (later, once lyrics are explained) What the hell is a “Sharona,” anyway?
Scarborough
Canadia
What About This “Paula Abdul” All the Kids Are Talking About?
25-year-old: All you listen to is old music, like David Bowie ‘n shit.
40-year-old: I don’t listen to just old stuff! I listen to new stuff too!
(turns radio to Eveerclear, Father of Mine)
40-year-old: See? This is new!
25-year-old: You kiddin? This is like ten years old!
40-year-old: Damnit.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: back seat driver
