Secretary (singing to herself to the tune of “If I only had a brain”): If I only had a hammer…if I only had a hammer…
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Music’ Category
As Though Winnie the Pooh's “Honey Pot” Weren't Dirty Enough
Old lady to friend: I don't know who Madonna thinks she is writing children's books. She's still a slut.
Washington, Utah
Overheard by: Nick West
…Drooling.
CSR, about music video: When you watch the video you'll see two chicks making out. I'm to the left of them.
Atlanta, Georgia
Can We Just Agree That the Guy Was Fruity in General?
Security guard to boss: Michael Jackson loved apricots. Don't forget.
Burbank, California
You Call This a Gay Bar?
Stranger at urinal, before storming out of the bathroom: They don’t play enough Cher, that’s what blows!
Melville, New York
“Baby Beluga”? Really?
Exec to another: This song makes me feel like I should be fingerbanging a hillbilly.
Emeryville, California
Every Banjo Song Sounds Like “Dueling Banjos”
Proofreader, warily: Your “Cat Peed on my Banjo” song sounds suspiciously like “Dueling Banjos”!
Washington, DC
Yet They All Know Who Kendra Is. *Shudder*
Office girl #1: Did you hear that Kendra's man isn't on the Eagles anymore?
Office girl #2: They fired him?
Office girl #1: Hold on, let me check. (pause) Oh, nope. He's going to play for the Colts now.
Office girl #2: Where's that?
Office girl #1: I'm not sure.
Office girl #2: It sounds like it's somewhere cold.
Office girl #1: I have no clue.
Office girl #2: I'll google it. (pause) Indianapolis.
Office girl #1: Where's that?
Office girl #2: I don't know. I think that's north of here.
Office girl #1: Oh…
Office girl #2: Oh, it's in Indiana.
Morgantown, West Virginia
Overheard by: humble office drone
Kids Get Sucked Into Those Like Quicksand
Producer to receptionist: Hey, do you have that intern's cell number? I'm trying to see if she can come in at 8 on Monday.
Receptionist: Yeah, I just called her. She's in the middle of, like, a Jonas Brothers concert or something.
Manhattan, New York
Which Totally Explains the Mona Lisa's Smile
Office lady: That woman's smoking crack. She's smoking crack and watching Elvis Blue Hawaii videos.
Boston, Massachusetts