Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category

Maybe Mix It with Stoli?

Girl at desk: My friend told me about how they paid two grand to freeze the stem cells from her son’s um­bil­i­cal cord so it could save his life or some­thing lat­er.
Guy at desk: Why don’t they just have him drink the flu­id out of the um­bil­i­cal cord?
Male cowork­er: Or­rr they could just put the stuff in the freez­er.

3111 S. Range Line Road
Joplin, Mis­souri

Self-Test: Are You More Pa­thet­ic at Work or at Home?

Cowork­er #1: And I still had this stom­ach bug, but I’d just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was call­ing me, and I made in­to the hall­way be­fore I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I’m com­ing, mom!“
Cowork­er #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Cowork­er #1: This was like six months ago.

Co­lum­bia, Mis­souri

Oh Noz!

Cashier #1: What do you think of, you know, when peo­ple stick ran­dom Zs in­to words? Like, ‘For shiz­zle, my niz­zle’?
Cashier #2: Man, I hate it when peo­ple do that. They sound like they ain’t got no speech.

8700 East 63rd Street
Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: Je­du­sor

That’s Your An­swer for Every­thing

Cowork­er #1: Are you bring­ing some­thing to­mor­row?
Cowork­er #2: Yeah, but I’m not sure what. Every­one is so hard to please.
Cowork­er #1: I know. I want to make that pas­ta dish I told you about, but it has a lot of veg­eta­bles. I have to find out who likes what, and what they don’t like. It’d be eas­i­er to kill every­one in­stead.

12300 Olive Boule­vard
St. Louis, Mis­souri