Creative director on phone: Maybe the guy goes up and kicks the bear in the balls…I don’t know.
111 E. Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Archive for the ‘Midwest’ Category
Nope, Just Thought You Might Need Help Getting That Desk onto Your Truck
Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?
9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: T
1PM Identifying Next Actions
Attorney: Well, that client is single now.
Secretary: Really?
Attorney: I’m going to have to lose 20 pounds. Bring me my pills.
415 South Ohio
Sedalia, Missouri
11AM To Hear Your Messages
Voicemail: Hello, this is Joe* from engineering, I’m having a problem with my computer, and was told you could help me out. It appears that there is a problem with my fixed dick…er, ficked disk, fisk dick.
[pause]
FIXED DISK.….
4747 Harrison Avenue
Rockford, Illinois
You Always Take a Weird Exit off the Conversation Highway
Bible-thumping coworker: It’s my son’s 35th birthday today. I can’t believe my oldest is going to be 35.
Normal coworker: Oh? How many children do you have?
Bible-thumping coworker: Let’s see… I have three biological and one spiritual. But we’re much more than spiritual, really. It’s like we have this connection.
Normal coworker, to herself: Riiiiight.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
I Blame Viagra
Older female: My Yahoo is full of spam.
Midwest
1PM Backlog in Booking
Guy on bench: I know, this is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting three hours to turn myself in.
Precinct 1
Cincinnati, Ohio
3PM Assigning Personnel
Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re doing, no matter that the customer asks.
Account manager: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales director: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.
28100 Cabot Drive
Novi, Michigan
5PM That’s a Wrap
Male developer: I want to make sure the data loaded correctly, pardon me if I’m a bit anal
Female project manager: I enjoy anal.
2025 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
4PM Smoke Break
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
