Male developer: I want to make sure the data loaded correctly, pardon me if I’m a bit anal
Female project manager: I enjoy anal.
2025 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Archive for the ‘Midwest’ Category
4PM Smoke Break
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
10AM Copyright Infringement
Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle “c” after everything.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
5PM That’s a Wrap
Boss: Did you hear what Gwyneth Paltrow named her new baby?
Peon: Yeah, Moses. That’s old news.
Boss: I wonder what she’ll name the next one.
Peon: Well, it looks like she’s going in order from the Bible. It’ll probably be Caleb or Joshua.
Boss: You sure know a lot about the Bible for someone who’s not religious.
Peon: I worked in a church for two years, it’s hard not to pick something up.
Boss: Oh yeah? My mother’s worked in a church for twenty years, and the only thing she’s picked up is drinking.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
9AM Back to Work
Hosting rep: Alright sir, I reset your password so you can log in.
Pause
Hosting rep: Are you ready for it now?
Pause
Hosting rep: Ok sir, it’s all capital letters… It is I-D-1-0-T.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
3PM Assigning Personnel
Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re doing, no matter that the customer asks.
Account manager: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales director: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.
28100 Cabot Drive
Novi, Michigan
4PM Doing Rounds
Nurse: What is the single dose of Kaletra?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So 500.
Nurse manager: 400 and 100
Nurse: Right. So 500?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So wouldn’t 400 and 100 be 500?
Nurse manager: Well obviously you would get 500; I thought you could just do the math all on your own.
550 North University Blvd
Indianapolis, Indiana
I Think You’ll Like the Results
Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Sailorette
1PM Long Term Planning
Subordinate #1, middle-aged: So, how’s your broken toe doing, [Sara]?
VP [Sara]: It still hurts, but after four tries, I finally found a pair of high heels I can stand in.
Subordinate #1: Should you be doing that yet?
VP: I have a date tonight and need to look cute.
Subordinate 2, older: You shouldn’t be wearing heels yet. You’re going to ruin your feet so that when you’re old like me you’ll be able to wear only ugly shoes.
VP: I’ll be married by then, so it won’t matter!
208 South LaSalle
Chicago, Illinois
She Just Can’t Drive for the Hoop Now That She’s Pregnant
Sensitive soul: She’s gotten heavier, so now I can beat her.
Central Street
Evanston, Illinois