Archive for the ‘Midsouth’ Category

5PM That’s a Wrap

Coworker #1: I am going to come in on Monday and tell [Dave] to shove it.
Coworker #2: Do I even want to know why?
Coworker #1: I’m going to win the lottery this weekend. Fifty-six million dollars!
Coworker #2: If I win the lottery, I will go around running into every person in Houston who has ever cut me off! And those that come out of the parking lot right when the light turns green and then cross all three lanes in front of everyone, I’m just gonna floor it…
Coworker #1: Uh, I was just talking about not having to work for a while.

2875 Antoine
Houston, Texas

He Aced the Mixed Drinks Portion of the Bar Exam

Defense attorney: Objection, Your Honor. The prosecution continues to assert this witness is an expert but has offered no evidence to support the claim.
Judge: Sustained. Mr. Martin*, is this witness your expert?
Prosecutor: Yes, Your Honor.
Judge: Would you care to establish for the court why the witness is an expert in the field of pediatrics?
Prosecutor: Cause he…ummm…knows stuff?

State Court
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Xen

How Angie Got Her First Job

Manager: So why do you want to work in a book store?
Teen: Um…I love reading books.
Manager: What’s the last book you read?
Teen: Uh…Umm…I don’t…[Giggles]…Umm…
Manager: Well, what’s your favorite book?
Teen: Um…
Manager: Okay.

Barnes & Noble, Irving Mall
Irving, Texas

Overheard by: Mongo Man