Archive for the ‘Midsouth’ Category

5PM That’s a Wrap

Cowork­er #1: I am go­ing to come in on Mon­day and tell [Dave] to shove it.
Cowork­er #2: Do I even want to know why?
Cowork­er #1: I’m go­ing to win the lot­tery this week­end. Fifty-six mil­lion dol­lars!
Cowork­er #2: If I win the lot­tery, I will go around run­ning in­to every per­son in Hous­ton who has ever cut me off! And those that come out of the park­ing lot right when the light turns green and then cross all three lanes in front of every­one, I’m just gonna floor it…
Cowork­er #1: Uh, I was just talk­ing about not hav­ing to work for a while.

2875 An­toine
Hous­ton, Texas

He Aced the Mixed Drinks Por­tion of the Bar Ex­am

De­fense at­tor­ney: Ob­jec­tion, Your Hon­or. The pros­e­cu­tion con­tin­ues to as­sert this wit­ness is an ex­pert but has of­fered no ev­i­dence to sup­port the claim.
Judge: Sus­tained. Mr. Mar­tin*, is this wit­ness your ex­pert?
Pros­e­cu­tor: Yes, Your Hon­or.
Judge: Would you care to es­tab­lish for the court why the wit­ness is an ex­pert in the field of pe­di­atrics?
Pros­e­cu­tor: Cause he…ummm…knows stuff?

State Court
Austin, Texas

Over­heard by: Xen

How Ang­ie Got Her First Job

Man­ag­er: So why do you want to work in a book store?
Teen: Um…I love read­ing books.
Man­ag­er: What’s the last book you read?
Teen: Uh…Umm…I don’t…[Giggles]…Umm…
Man­ag­er: Well, what’s your fa­vorite book?
Teen: Um…
Man­ag­er: Okay.

Barnes & No­ble, Irv­ing Mall
Irv­ing, Texas

Over­heard by: Mon­go Man

Sir, You Need More Ser­vices Than I Can Pro­vide

CSR: OK, sir, go ahead and click on the lo­go in the top left of your screen.
Cus­tomer, on phone: I don’t see that. I’m on a page that says “Wel­come,” then “My Pro­file.“
CSR: OK, go ahead and click on “My Pro­file.“
Cus­tomer: I don’t see that.

9800 Fred­er­icks­burg Road
San An­to­nio, Texas

Over­heard by: Ray­dran