Archive for the ‘Medical’ Category

For Him, That’s Still Pret­ty Good

Pa­tient #1 to fam­i­ly mem­ber on Skype: Yeah, they’re tak­ing re­al good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sis­ter.
(nurse leans in to com­put­er screen, waves hel­lo)
Fam­i­ly mem­ber on Skype: Is he be­ing a good pa­tient?
Pa­tient #2, on oth­er side of cur­tain: He’s cryin’ like a lit­tle bitch!

Stony Brook Hos­pi­tal
Long Is­land, New York

One Sign That You Should Be See­ing a Dif­fer­ent Doc­tor

Doc­tor: So, you aren’t eat­ing or drink­ing wa­ter dur­ing the day for a whole month?
Mus­lim med stu­dent: Yep, but it’s not so bad, it gives us time to re­flect and pray.
Doc­tor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ra­madan. Now let’s fig­ure out our sched­ule for the day. Have you eat­en lunch yet?

Med­ical Cen­ter
Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

Any Ex­cuse to Tell That Sto­ry

Nurse: She’s been so much bet­ter to­day. Chat­ty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, “How are you to­day?” I said, “Huh? Oh, I’m fine!” Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psy­chi­a­trist: Ac­tu­al­ly we’re wean­ing her off the Celexa. We start­ed her on Ef­fex­or.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psy­chi­a­trist: She’s on­ly been on it one day. That would­n’t re­al­ly be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was tak­ing that when I got in­to a fight at the air­port. You know those guys with the M‑16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smil­ing: Yeah.

Ore­gon State Hos­pi­tal
Salem, Ore­gon