Archive for the ‘Medical’ Category

Pa­tient: Hey! It’s Damn Cold in This Pa­per Gown

Physi­cian: What can you tell me about this X‑ray?
Stu­dent: It’s a male pelvis with two frac­tures.
Physi­cian: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Stu­dent: How can you tell?
Physi­cian: The lack of a pe­nis out­line on the X‑ray helps.

Emer­gency Room, Uni­ver­si­ty of Kansas Hos­pi­tal
Kansas City, Kansas

Over­heard by: Sti­fling the Laugh

Re­mem­ber When We Ac­ci­den­tal­ly Took Out the Wrong Colon? Oh, We Laughed!

[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, look­ing hor­ri­fied: I just en­tered all of these notes on the wrong pa­tien­t’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-en­ter them for the right pa­tient.
Nurse #1, dis­tressed at her­self: But that’s aw­ful! What would have hap­pened?
Nurse #2, shrug­ging: ‘s’okay, hap­pens all the time.

Hos­pi­tal
Beck­ley, West Vir­ginia

4PM Do­ing Rounds

Nurse: What is the sin­gle dose of Kale­tra?
Nurse man­ag­er: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So 500.
Nurse man­ag­er: 400 and 100
Nurse: Right. So 500?
Nurse man­ag­er: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So would­n’t 400 and 100 be 500?
Nurse man­ag­er: Well ob­vi­ous­ly you would get 500; I thought you could just do the math all on your own.

550 North Uni­ver­si­ty Blvd
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana