Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category

Re­quir­ing a Con­stant Air­flow Across Her Cool­ing Fins

La­dy #1: Yeah, so I saw Evie* over at the cour­t­house, and she yells at me, ‘Yo, girl, you wearin’ panties?’ And so I say back, ‘Yeah, I sho’ am!’ Her moth­er gets right up and tells me she ain’t wearin’ any panties.
La­dy #2: Ha­ha. Why she at court?
La­dy #1: Some pro­ba­tion thing.

1340 For­est Av­enue
Port­land, Maine

Over­heard by: Reg­gie Queen

Um, Ac­tu­al­ly

Man­ag­er: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods.
Clerk #1: What?
Man­ag­er: Yeah, my friend and I went to the gro­cery store and bought a ton of food, but we al­so de­cid­ed to bring along his cat in a back­pack, and then we let him out in the store be­cause we fig­ured he was old and would­n’t escape…but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left.
Clerk #2: You just left the cat be­hind?!
Man­ag­er: There’s no stop­ping the Frito Ban­di­to.

Maine Mall
Port­land, Maine

Wait, If I Just Lock Him in an Emp­ty Room with Some Dog Food in a Bag, I Could Get That New ‘Vette!

Mom, point­ing to friend’s child: Say ‘Hel­lo’ to Aidan*.
Shy child hid­ing face in mom’s leg: ‘Lo.
Mom: If you can’t look at him and ‘Hel­lo’ prop­er­ly then you can’t have swim­ming lessons. There, I just saved a hun­dred and fifty dol­lars!

145 Har­low Street
Ban­gor, Maine

Over­heard by: Kel­ly