Project Manager: I hate these cubicles. Oh wait, they are not cubicles anymore. What are we supposed to call them? Coffices?
Field Manager: I like veal pens or officles.
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category
10AM Client Meeting
Field Services Manager: I can’t believe he brought up all those issues in front of [the client]. He made us look even more inept than we already sounded!
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Printers Practice Malicious Compliance
PhD-level analyst: Oh, the copier is printing the whole five hundred pages of that report! I only want the first page! Stop, stop, stop! Why wont it stop?!
Temp: You have to actually press a button. It doesn’t work on voice command…
75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Barbara Bush Still Has a Few Illusions About Her Son
Mom: So, my son had a party while I was away, but at least he cleaned up the blood before I got home.
Friend: Wait… what?
Career Center
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: Unemployed and unemployable
Isn't That Lifetime's Tag Line?
Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
Umm…
Boss: No, kangaroo rats are not rodents! They're just mini kangaroos!
Maine
Overheard by: amused employee
What Exactly Constitutes “Smearing”?
Associate to customer on phone about beef recall: We are only recalling meat with the dates April 28th through June 6th on it.
Customer: Well, mine is dated June 23rd. Can I eat it?
Associate: Yes, ma'am. That's not in our recall dates.
Customer: Are you sure it's safe?
Associate: Yes ma'am. That meat wasn't part of the recall.
Customer: What were the dates again?
Associate: April 28th to June 6th.
Customer: So, I won't die?
Associate: Ma'am, unless you plan on smearing it on a pig and eating it raw, you are going to be fine.
Yarmouth, Maine
As We Said They Should, Dear Reader
Tom*, reading newspaper: Archie Comics introduces first gay character.
Mike*: They're taking over the world!
Tom*: Archie comics?
Mike*, whispering: No, the gays.
Portland, Maine
Has Someone Alerted 60 Minutes?
Genius: Sometimes the staples are just hanging there, and someone could get hurt.
68 Marginal Way
Portland, Maine
There's Only One Cure for an Overdose Of Children's TV
Very sketchy neighbor to two-year-old: Who gives a fuck about Dora?!
Hospital
Maine
Overheard by: Irritated