Archive for the ‘Maine’ Category

I Think I Know What We’ll Be Serving at Your Farewell Party

Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.

1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine

And “Go Back to Mexico!” Could Be Interpreted in a Variety Of Ways.

Boss on phone, trying to dig himself out of a hole: I’ve been straight and honest and very clear and precise in what I say. I am very careful and think about what I say before I let it come out of my mouth, except this one time, but it went over everybody’s head, so I don’t think they noticed.

University
Maine

There’s Only One Cure for an Overdose Of Children’s TV

Very sketchy neighbor to two-year-old: Who gives a fuck about Dora?!

Hospital
Maine

Overheard by: Irritated

Just Kidding! It’s Actually “Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff”

CSR on phone: Let me spell that for you, that name is McKeon: “m” as in “m”, “c” as in “c”, “k” as in “k”, “e” as in “e”, “o” as in “o”, “n” as in “n”.

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: brian brinegar

9AM Back to the Farm

Project Manager: I hate these cubicles. Oh wait, they are not cubicles anymore. What are we supposed to call them? Coffices?
Field Manager: I like veal pens or officles.

85 E Street
South Portland, Maine

Overheard by: brian brinegar

10AM Client Meeting

Field Services Manager: I can’t believe he brought up all those issues in front of [the client]. He made us look even more inept than we already sounded!

85 E Street
South Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Brian Brinegar

Printers Practice Malicious Compliance

PhD-level analyst: Oh, the copier is printing the whole five hundred pages of that report! I only want the first page! Stop, stop, stop! Why wont it stop?!
Temp: You have to actually press a button. It doesn’t work on voice command…

75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: brian brinegar