Archive for the ‘Louisiana’ Category

What?? That Bit Kills at the Station.

Police officer, taking initial report on phone: So your stereo was stolen from your vehicle in the hospital parking lot last night? (pause) Okay, sir, I’ll get someone out to you to take the report. And sir, I’ll be working the security at the hospital tonight and I promise that while I’m on duty no one will steal your stereo out of your car.(laughs) Because it’s already been stolen.

Zachary, Louisiana

How Much Crank Does That Take?

Female coworker: I received your collections file for the $57,700.00 claim. Have you run an asset check on this lady to see if she has anything we can file suit against?
Male coworker: No. When I spoke to her she sounded barefoot, pregnant, and poor. Like she was living with someone else.
Female coworker: I didn’t realize you could get all of that from someone’s voice.
Male coworker: I’m crunk. I’m good.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not Crunk

Does That Mean We Get to Kick You in the Groin?

Peon to fellow cube-mates: What would happen if no one ever reached their target, but they just kept placing it further and further away for the sake of “striving for excellence”? (pause) Sounds like you’re setting up your people for failure. You ever watch Ninja Warrior? That show is the bomb. They have crazy, semi-impossible obstacle courses, and if a contestant passes all four stages, they win. The point is, no one is supposed to win! The obstacles get harder and harder to keep people from succeeding, not to hope and pray that they win… You are all honorary ninja warriors.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Rio

Oh, Okay. Tweetie.

Teen girl, holding a bag with a dead bird inside: My grandfather called earlier about getting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Office clerk: Ok, I remember talking to him this morning. I need to get some information from you first. Now, what was his name?

The girl’s eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.

Office clerk: No, not the bird’s name. I need to know your grandfather’s name.

616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana

Overheard by: Vicky