Archive for the ‘Lawyers’ Category

When Will People Learn?

Legal assistant #1: Do you know Andy Samberg?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
Legal assistant #1: What was his other song? Not “I’m on a boat”…
Legal assistant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Legal assistant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speakerphone?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
(office erupts in laughter)

Irvine, California

Overheard by: Legal Amusement

10AM Jury Selection

Defense attorney: Good morning prospective ladies and gentlemen — I mean, jurors.

125 East 8th Avenue
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: the unchosen

10AM Review Napoleonic Code

Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.

8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana