Archive for the ‘Lawyers’ Category

When Will Peo­ple Learn?

Le­gal as­sis­tant #1: Do you know Andy Sam­berg?
Le­gal as­sis­tant #2: Yes.
Le­gal as­sis­tant #1: What was his oth­er song? Not “I’m on a boat”…
Le­gal as­sis­tant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Le­gal as­sis­tant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speak­er­phone?
Le­gal as­sis­tant #2: Yes.
(of­fice erupts in laugh­ter)

Irvine, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Le­gal Amuse­ment

10AM Ju­ry Se­lec­tion

De­fense at­tor­ney: Good morn­ing prospec­tive ladies and gen­tle­men — I mean, ju­rors.

125 East 8th Av­enue
Eu­gene, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: the un­cho­sen

10AM Re­view Napoleon­ic Code

At­tor­ney #1: The gov­er­nor sug­gest­ed that every­one not evac­u­at­ing write their so­cial se­cu­ri­ty num­ber on their arm in in­deli­ble ink. I’m go­ing to go through our data­base and tat­too the SSN of our rich­est client on my chest with my chil­dren as ben­e­fi­cia­ries.
At­tor­ney #2: You bet­ter get that tat­too on your ass be­cause you’re go­ing to be float­ing face down in the flood­wa­ter.

8555 Unit­ed Plaza Boule­vard
Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana